The Past Hisses Angry sounds

I am the battered shore

On which the hurricane pounds

The future roars an awkward tune

The past hisses angry sounds

The smoke through which I breathe

Kills me, each breath, each time

Angles seem off and twisted

Life refuses to accept the rhyme

I am aching and uncertain

Banging time on my brass drum

Celebrating each grand an elegant loss

And the storms yet to come

I am the battered shore

0n which the hurricane pounds

I roar in mute defiance

The past hisses angry sounds

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Not actively editing

About the Author

Country/Region: new mexico

Favorite Poets: leonard cohen, charles bukowski, gary nicholson

Comments

Race_9togo

4 years 1 month ago

Hello Atorn

Excellent work. I would have preferred to have read it in verses, but reading it aloud takes care of that. Succinct, powerful, very, very good.
Keep them coming.

atorn

4 years 1 month ago

reply

Thank you for taking the time to comment, they are always appreciated

Geezer

4 years 1 month ago

which makes the piece so good! Your rhyme is simple but effective and you didn't drag it on and on. I think you forgot to end the word [an] with a [D] in the line; "Celebrating each grand an[d] elegant loss. All in all, a really good poem! ~ Geez.
.