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Pathway to the Pleiades
I have chosen
to go walkabout
without destiny
nor with doubt
Through a recanting of earth
I'll pass through many veils
finding the greater magic
is a touchstone of the grails
Along the misty road
I'll travel without fear
picking up vibrations
I'm an elfen pioneer
Gossamer filbrils of light
softly drift round my head
as I walk among the stars
I'm dazzled as they dispread
I am watching as my skin
Seems to shimmer from within,
Seeing the truth revealed
my soul is enamelled sans sin
Alighting from the orbs
I finally float to ground
I discovered a hidden path
leading to the profound
As I gently close my eyes
I follow a song in my soul
and crossing the Eovly fault
my body loses all control
Like a magnificent supernova
that has suddenly reached its end
I'm now exploding into the void
my spirit reached it's final transcend
A billion heavenly bodies
now shine in the evening skies
there among them hiding
I'm now a smiling demiguise
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
lovedly
2 years 3 months ago
Beautiful words I learn from your poetry
I observe you have not found any of mine goodly
lately
lol never mind
I have a greater mind ....
won't give up suddenly
I read u daily
Seren
2 years 3 months ago
Thank you!. I can't read if I
Thank you!. I can't read if I haven't been here. I had a family emergency halfway across the state to attend to, 8hrs away from here. I'll get around to reading some of your new poems.
Smiles Love Sis xxx
Geezer
2 years 3 months ago
I thought that...
you could have done better
with your title. This poem deserves a great title.
Your walk among the stars and constellations needs
a grander sign to attract the reader. I mean...
"Hiding in Disguise"? Of course, if you are in hiding
you would use a disguise. How about something like:
Pathway in the Stars? or Walkabout in the Pleiades?
Pathway in the Pleiades!
I found no fault with anything else.
A trip of extraordinary beauty amongst the constellations.
~ Geez.
.
Seren
2 years 3 months ago
Hmm what about. The Grail in
Hmm what about. The Grail in the Heavens (or stars)??..
This one wrote itself. And there is one word in there that I made up myself and it's from the thing in December. Eovly. I made it up for something else.
I'm so happy you liked it
Love Sis xxx
Edit:- I Changed the title to one you suggested I took
a shine to it.
Geezer
2 years 3 months ago
So glad...
that I could help. This may be the one that will take the contest! ~ Love and higgest bugs, ~ Geez.
.
Seren
2 years 3 months ago
I actually wasn't sure what
I actually wasn't sure what to call it and just put the original title just so it had one lol.
I appreciate the help I'm really happy you liked it.
Love and higgliest bugs Sis xox
scribbler
2 years 3 months ago
OK
Eovly.....an interesting made up word but what does it mean?That aside this is an interesting poem.
Seren
2 years 3 months ago
"Eovly" is a place
smiles, thanks for the visit it's always good to see you
love Sis xxx
RoseBlack
2 years 3 months ago
This is just
lovely! I love the part of transcending from the orbs! You are truly a master at writing fantasy/fairy tale like poetry. Your choice of words is always elegant and flow so easily. Love this!
Seren
2 years 3 months ago
Dear Carrie
Thanks so much I am really glad you enjoyed it, fantasy is what I do and create.
i appreciate the read and the lovely compliment.
love and big hugs Jayne xxx
Jackweb
2 years 3 months ago
I will only...
compliment your good writing skill. I love your writing voice because it's engaging and approachable. Very good stuff here.
.
Seren
2 years 3 months ago
Dear Jack
Thanks so much for your kind comment, it's really appreciated.
Also, thanks for the visit.
Kind Regards Seren
Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 3 months ago
Well done
Are we walking internally or literally or both, because I’m betting on both.
Tim
Seren
2 years 3 months ago
Both
You should've put money on it lol
Hugs Jayne
Geezer
2 years 3 months ago
Found...
another typo! [loses].~ Higgest bugs, ~ Bro.
.
Seren
2 years 3 months ago
Thanks Bro
Fixed
Higgliest bugs Sis xxx