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Mar 06, 2015
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pejorative
Saline landscapes
panned periphery excursions
the surf taking forever
breaking across a width so wide
with wealth
a dusk forever lain
on a sea of silver
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Rula
10 years 4 months ago
Steve
What is this about?
Let me guess :)
Is it about how things go in life?
I might not got it right, but it strikes me
"Slain landscape" "dusk forever lain"
I mean I always try to use in my poetry images like the ones you bring, but no way.
Wonderful!
Thank you for sharing.
judyanne
10 years 4 months ago
pejorative
Having a disparaging, derogatory or belittling effect
Does the ocean do this to you Steve?
Awesome descriptive
love judy
xxx
Esker
10 years 4 months ago
A true edge...
Saline....tears...ocean...
unlike freshwater..
a greatness that one can only experience
Mystery in its depths..
overwhelming
calming
Peaceful and powerful
beyond the mere mortality
and ego or control
or lack there of
Rain...a taste a smell
on winds...the finds of an
ocean
its power when roused
lain forever...
always the line
a certianty
except in fog
or mist
or compasses
not working
nor stars to see
or storm with
no rudder etc
In my city I go the
gov dock to chill
watch the mirages
on hot days at the
islands or the
waves coming in
which break large
enough on our
shallow beaches
here...
sandy bottomed
the willows at the shore
a grass stretch
and railyard
not hemmed in with
fences
unlike a forest you can see
far or further then where I
grew up...rounded hills
I remember the pairies too
solid though
and I remember a voyage
on a ferry...East and West
once..
I believe water has spirits
or is alive in its extent that
it can hold life..
sustain life
I like the mirages at the islands
when they are there
the islands appear to float
its peaceful...the sun hot
the wind soothing
I let myself get rattled
and push thinking too
far often
light..sounds..smells
come in sharp..fast
intense
..
I love water for as much
as it frightens me
makes me feel alive
when its stirred
Thank You!
Sparrow
10 years 4 months ago
Steve
In its frailty
though a picture
a wasted oceans hands
As it catches the shore
There it is master of all
and unstoppable
A vision of its ways
Eternity to us
As we only live a spell
Then we move on.
I loved this write
it painted,
And was absorbed
Yours Ian..
PS:- the title that is a word for contempt would only be good for the longevity of the Ocean, and our frail being.
Maybe a pressure ridge on your lake, where it shows contempt for the smoothness of the Ice..
emeka ozurumba
10 years 4 months ago
steve lovely work with precision
the contents of the work and it form are very well wove.. it moves me to the allignment of the still vaes crest suppresed, and to the lids longevity