Pentameter of the Heart

Beating in time like a galloping trot
Dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum.
Drumming it’s sure song with all it has got

Token light pounding resides in your chest
Dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum.
Speeds up when you’re active, scared or distressed

Booming bass drummer not so confident
Dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum.
A lone heart explodes, it’s cold armor rent

The fastest of all the songs it has played
Dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum.
The mile I ran or the love that we made

Always goes calm whilst I lie close to you
Dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum.
Surrounded by light and love that’s so true

I cherish the moments our hearts beat as one
Dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum.
Gather them close lest our love comes undone

About This Poem

Last Few Words: It’s tougher than it sounds!

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: U.S.A., USA

Favorite Poets: Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Walt Whitman. I’m enamored by the work of lyricists such as Robert Hunter, John Barlow, John Dyer Baizley, and Tom Marshall just to name a handful.

Comments

Candlewitch

3 years ago

dear Tim,

nice title, great construction. tougher than it seams huh? it feels like it just rolled right off your pen and tongue...so get your pen out of your mouth!!! (just kidding) the pacing is fine. I liked these lines best:
Always goes calm whilst I’m lying with you
Dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum, dah-dum.
Surrounded by light and love that’s so true

it goes down lightly...Cat