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S
scribbler
Jul 17, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

A PERFECT DAY

We'll walk along the warm wet sand
and watch the sand fleas disappear
on the Myrtle Beach grand strand
the way we did one bygone year

With gulls filling the clear blue sky
with mobile white and raucous laughter
buzzing us as we passed by
on our way to ever after

I'm sure we were among a crowd
beyond the dunes where sea oats grew
and certainly the surf was loud
but I only saw and just heard you

We'll return there one fine day
and smell the ocean in the air
and carefree on the warm sands lay
while sunlight plays on your soft hair

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

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Comments

S

scribbler

14 years ago

Hi Rose

time spent with loved ones, whether pet or human, is to be treasured. And thanks for eagle eye lol..........stan

S

scribbler

14 years ago

hi Lonnie

Never claimed to be otherwise lol. And the lucky one is ME.............stan

S

scribbler

14 years ago

hi lved

Thanks for the read and kind comment. My computer was down with a virus for almost 4 days and I doubt I'll ever get caught up with commenting, But I'll try to at least not get much farther behind lol.....stan

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

14 years ago

Dear Stan,

A beautiful love poem. My favorite lines:

I'm sure we were among a crowd
beyond the dunes where sea oats grew
and certainly the surf was loud
but I only saw and just heard you

any woman would adore these words, just for her.

always, Cat

S

scribbler

14 years ago

Hi Cat

Hi Cat
line forms to the right lol( just kidding) .Glad you enjoyed this............stan

S

scribbler

14 years ago

Hi vex

I hope reason for your absence is good things happening. Thanks for the read and kind comment...........stan