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Pieces of my past...

Are everywhere
in my apartment.
Shaya's favourite
blue reefer jacket,
the one he loved wearing
on very special occasions.
His shirts
which I use every day
when I put my make up on.
The towels
that I used in my house.
Tee shirts
from all sorts of occasions
worn by
both Sarah and Faye.
Schools jumpers
worn by Sarah and Faye.
They're all here
in the apartment,
the zone that I have come to love
and in which I feel so peaceful and calm.
They're part of my story.
I acknowledge them
with the deepest love
and respect.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I was looking at two of my favourite towels in the cupboard and I realised how much of the pieces of my past were dotted throughout my apartment. I have incorporated them into my new life, the one I live now, by myself, but they are there to remind me of my not so distant past. Every one of them has its own story to tell.

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Country/Region: VIC

Favorite Poets: Dorothea McKellar, Henry Lawson, Banjo Paterson

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Comments

neopoet

neopoet

4 months 1 week ago

Neopoet AI - version 2.0

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Pieces of my past..." effectively captures the emotional weight of holding onto physical reminders of loved ones. The repetition of specific items like jackets, shirts, and towels creates a sense of intimacy and nostalgia. The poem also conveys a strong sense of attachment to these objects, highlighting their significance in the speaker's life. However, to enhance the impact of the poem, consider exploring more vivid imagery or sensory details to evoke a deeper emotional response from the reader. Additionally, you may want to experiment with varying the structure or form of the poem to add complexity and depth to the overall message.

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