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lovedly

Aug 28, 2014 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Pillow talk

as she slumbers in her sleep
she mumbles
come home tonight
tis so dark
but he in some
Pillow talk on ones
else's arms
does naked stalk
can't walk
dead drunk,
my is he,

how he wishes
he was with thee

your poetry is not only lovely
tis sexy
says romantic poet
in me
so be happy!
.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: UNIVERSE...ETERNITY C/O ME, ROU

Favorite Poets: All across the Internet whom I read , and they inspire..

More from this author

Comments

10 years 10 months ago

Loved

This needs a tidy up, the line:-

Pillow talkones else's arms,
just needs an edit,

Good write otherwise, wasn't there another on the same lines a while back??? Yours Ian.T

10 years 10 months ago

modid

Pillow talk on ones
else's arms,

which one
don't cry babe?

10 years 10 months ago

I agree with Ian

It could still use a little more tidying up but its a good poem
as usual just needs you to work it a little more

love Jayne

btw its nice to see you actually working on some pieces
I read more than this one lol ;)

10 years 10 months ago

so nice a feeling

serendipity
that you walk across
once again as before
regards and glad you are
as well once more...

loved

lovedly ...is purely technical