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Jul 15, 2020
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Pinned
When you get pinned
Like the donkey
On the walls of sin,
Remember this key,
Choose it wisely~
Be set free
Throw away dis-ease
Be the key
Not the lock-ness monster.
When people pin you down
Get back up and dust off,
Never give up trying to own,
Ever be your own true self.
Be true freedom,
Throw away fake views,
Be the door
Through which love comes after.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I'm feeling like I need one more verse to complete this one. I just sat down and wrote three new poems and this the last one, ran out of steam! lol It's a bit personal to me but hopefully others can relate as well.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Gracy
4 years 11 months ago
Hello Lindame, no wonder you
Hello Lindame, no wonder you ran out of steam, three poems in a row. I like this one, the message is clear and the title is fine. Sounds a bit preachy, but that's a genre, so no quibbling about it.
Yes, perhaps another strophe, but it's OK as is.
Good play on words in the second strophe.
I'll return when others have commented.
Best, Gracy
Lindame
4 years 10 months ago
Thank you Gracy, happy you
Thank you Gracy, happy you came buy to read and comment. I'm not totally happy with this one myself. But poetry is on the back burner at this time. I don't know what I'm going to do once I leave the internet!! Yep, that is looming in the near future so, poetry will have to stay in the notebooks and dairies for the remainder of my life probably. Thanks for having me here.
Candlewitch
4 years 10 months ago
hello,
this flows nicely and I love the play on words! I'm enjoying your poetry.
*hugs, Cat
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