A place to be!

Can you feel the grey
surrounding you!
You've got
to be medicated
to win this game!
Everyday, always the same
you sit on your ass and watch TV
Waiting for someone
to talk to
People who can't
possibly understand,
but it's Okay
it has to be.
Just send me downstream
past the rocks and debris.
I'll find a lush lagoon
to rest the goodness
inside of me.
Falling into pools
of cascading waterfalls.
Where confrontation
is temporarily, not problematic.
An island upon which
I can see clearly!
My own myopic philosophy.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Where do you go when there is nowhere left to be. No resolution to your personal travesty.

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Ogden, Utah, USA

Favorite Poets: Jon Anderson, Jon Ondrasik, Donald Fagen, Sting, Eric Bloom , and all of the poets at neo.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Geezer

9 months 3 weeks ago

I thank...

the whatever, that we have Neo. I too, am stultified due to my environment and health. I'm glad that you have this outlet.
Are there no others where you are at, that like poetry? Or maybe you could start a workshop writing stories or something?
Anyway, we are here for you. I didn't find anything that I would correct or criticize. Your title is good, the theme is one that should be examined and talked about, and the logic is consistent. ~ Geez.
.

Leslie

9 months 3 weeks ago

G

You have a kind and considerate heart. I'm glad you likrd this poem andn you hang in there also!

Candlewitch

9 months 3 weeks ago

Dear Leslie,

it shows, how your vivid imagination caries you through! I wish I had even half of your talent!

*warm hugs, Cat

Leslie

9 months 3 weeks ago

Cat...

Your kindness is appreciated, I hope that you know that I feel the sme way about you!

Candlewitch

9 months 3 weeks ago

;)

I do!

*hugs, Cat

captain 2

9 months 3 weeks ago

Just send me downstream

Just send me downstream
past the rocks and debris.
I'll find a lush lagoon
to rest the goodness
inside of me.

That is hauntingly beautiful! It's not possible to sum-up, boil-down, or interpret those lines any better than you laid it out. It's like a novel of meaning in those few lines.

Best,
Captain

Leslie

8 months 1 week ago

captain 2

Thanks for the kind words I enjoy reading your work also! Hope all is well!