Neopoem Of The Week June11th to June 17th 2023

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The Poem

It takes so long to let her live.
Her death is my hell,
it is all done well.
She's innocent unaware,
pushed with most care.

For weeks I sat and thought of her.
The words I wrote for her do say;
A love through night and work through day.
For me she lives a lonely way.

Each line a part sought,
each word carefully brought.
Worked and re-worked,
she’s about thought and re-thought,
doubt and re-doubt.
When brought to a whole
she’s part of my soul.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: USA the bay state, United Kingdom, Australia, South Africa, Nigeria, Canada, Europe, USA

Favorite Poets: Dylon, George Harrison, Leonard Cohen, Jess, Rett, Black Mountain Gang

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

neopoet

2 years ago

Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Title: The Poem

Feedback:

1. Structure and Form: The poem appears to be a free verse with no consistent rhyme scheme or meter. To create a more cohesive structure, consider implementing a consistent rhyme scheme or meter throughout the poem. This can help to establish a rhythm and make the poem more engaging for the reader.

2. Imagery and Language: The poem uses some strong imagery, such as "Her death is my hell," which evokes a sense of loss and despair. To strengthen the poem further, consider incorporating more vivid and concrete imagery to help the reader visualize the emotions and experiences described.

3. Theme and Message: The poem seems to explore themes of love, loss, and the creative process. To make the message more clear and impactful, consider focusing on a specific aspect of these themes and developing it throughout the poem. This can help to create a more cohesive narrative and allow the reader to better understand the emotions and experiences being conveyed.

4. Clarity and Ambiguity: Some lines in the poem are somewhat ambiguous, such as "She's innocent unaware, pushed with most care." To improve the poem's clarity, consider revising these lines to more clearly convey the intended meaning. This can help the reader to better understand and connect with the poem's message.

5. Punctuation and Capitalization: The poem's punctuation and capitalization are inconsistent, which can make it difficult for the reader to follow the intended rhythm and meaning. Consider revising the poem to ensure that punctuation and capitalization are used consistently and effectively. This can help to improve the poem's overall readability and impact.

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