A Poem Inspired by Jane's "Whispering Wind."

As along the shore I wander,
by the sea at even tide.
I perceive a lovely lady
walking softly by my side.

Is this not her white veil flowing
covering that gentle face?
I see her in the settling mist—
faintly glowing, full of grace.

But, she is a vague illusion
projected by the straying beam
of the lighthouse's Fresnel lens—
a figment of an idle dream.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Inspired by Jane's poem, I envisioned this encounter. "Even" is a legitimate word for 'evening." (The even tide)

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Earth, USA

Comments

jane210660

8 years 1 month ago

Beautiful

Really beautiful, a much more gentle ghost than mine.
A nugget of gold this, no crit.
Jx
PS am so glad my poem led to this.

Ali Zonach

8 years 1 month ago

Hi Jane;

no, I must thank you for the inspiration I found in your captivating poem. I found it very stimulating. Thanks for loaning me your muse. :)
Ali

Keith Logan

8 years ago

I like this very much

My only slight reservation is the use of faintly and faint so close together. Maybe consider something like wispy (with a comma) in the first place or vague in the second?

Ali Zonach

8 years ago

Keith, Sir,

Thank you; I followed your suggestion and substituted 'vague' for "faint." Thanks again, :) Ali