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Oct 08, 2022
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A POEM TO MY CHILDHOOD SELF
Every time I go to school
I see teacher looking cool
Holding a cane at the gate
As I run behind my mate.
Every time I go to school
I see students at the pool
Many run across the lane
When the teacher holds a cane.
Every time I go to school
Mummy sits down on the stool
Selling pap to the people
While I make my way simple.
Every time I go to school
My body heavy as wool
Always shedding tears like rain
Before I decide to reign.
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Lavender
2 years 8 months ago
A Poem To My Childhood Self
Hello,
This is a quiet, yet direct poem full of subtle emotions and thoughts. I can see the observations by the child inside you, and feel and understand the brought on tension. Good rhyme pattern and flow. A lot said in such a straightforward piece.
Thank you,
L
Mr joghe
2 years 8 months ago
I like your comment.
I like your comment.
You can change the world with your pen.
Trouble
2 years 7 months ago
Childhood
I think the last paragraph should've been the first one to me these words would have opened up more of a meaning for the reader to follow.
Peace and blessings to you
But question was the teacher your mate
Mr joghe
2 years 7 months ago
Hello,
Hello,
I ran behind my mate if I might dodge the teacher.
Trouble
2 years 7 months ago
Childhood
I think the last paragraph should've been the first one to me these words would have opened up more of a meaning for the reader to follow.
Peace and blessings to you
But question was the teacher your mate