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Rula
Rula
May 07, 2017 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the workshop:

Meter... The Workshop.

(Read More...)

The Poet (Anapest ex.)

I can paint with no brush, nor with colours I'd draw
when the night has to coat and the dark has to fall;
I've my art, I can sing and alive I would show
what the words have to bring, and the magic they call.

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and , Poets are humanity when the world lose it.

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Comments

jane210660

jane210660

8 years 1 month ago

Wow

To my ear that's pretty bang on.
You might have added an extra syllable with 'the power of the words '
Maybe 'with the power of words' would fit. Parsed like this. 'with the POW/er of WORDS'
Similarly you added 'can still call' which puts another syllable in with 'still'.
I'm sure Wesley will let us know. Jx

Rula

Rula

8 years 1 month ago

Dear Jane

I was doing some edits while you comenting. What do you think of the last line. I wasn't sure about "power" either though it sounded ok to my ear despite the extra syllable.

jane210660

jane210660

8 years 1 month ago

I think it's very good.

I think it's very good. Perfect anapest.
I might put 'and their tools have to call' on the last line. Just using and instead of what.
But that's my personal preference, so please feel free to ignore. Jx

Rula

Rula

8 years 1 month ago

Thank you

again dear jane for the uthoughts. Much appreciated

Keith Logan

Keith Logan

8 years 1 month ago

My advice is simpler

just drop "would" from the last line. This evens out the flow while having no great effect on meaning. Alternatively, drop "and" from the last line, again having little effect on meaning.

Rula

Rula

8 years 1 month ago

Hello Keith

Appreciate the read and the feedback. Seems I've rushed this one. ((Hushshsh)), please don't let sir Wesley know about it. :)
Thanks again.

chevyvent

chevyvent

8 years 1 month ago

Very Deep Aura To Piece

You remind me of a dream like soul passionate for the creative arts. The part of me that wants to challenge the system has taken a back seat to my latest piece. It evokes a sentiment of love torn from the very fabric of our existence. I hope we could become good friends cause you are a remarkable talent your self. Never relent in giving your all to pursue your dreams in expression of creative artistic freedom.

Rula

Rula

8 years 1 month ago

Mario

thank you for your kind words. I am really happy to get a new friend reading my work. I am really honored.
Highly appreciate the encouraging words.