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A Poet At Work

My pen is dancing
the mind is working
ideas are pouring
the heart is singing

Imagery flowing
the logic is crafting
visions in fantasy
gives birth to beauty

words flowing, blooming
emotion growing, exploding
the universe is calling
this poet is replying

the writer's block returning
progress facing its enemy
the frustration is building
but surrender is not for me

thus this humble poem is written
in one of life's quietest moments.....

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: singapore, SGP

Favorite Poets: Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Sarojini Naidu and friends in Neopoet.

More from this author

Comments

redbaronj

redbaronj

11 years 4 months ago

Very nice!

You have definitely captured the poet in motion! The title captures the essence of the poem. Your language use was very good. The rhythm etc. was nicely done. The whole poem is very good.

alidzain

alidzain

11 years 4 months ago

Thanks

for the visit and the comments..;0)

Alid

Knowledge is a gift, health is wealth

R

raj

11 years 4 months ago

Alid

This is a very expressive poem...well done friend...

Regards,

Rula

Rula

11 years 4 months ago

Khalid

I can see you're working well with your meter. This shows a true improvement. Do you recognize it?
A nice theme too.

alidzain

alidzain

11 years 4 months ago

Hi Rula

the truth is, I don't even think about the meter in this. I'm just trying to use some of the styles I've seen from some of our friends' works and combine it with what I want to say. Perhaps you can tell me what it is so that I can improve further.

Alid

Knowledge is a gift, health is wealth

Rula

Rula

11 years 4 months ago

My pen| is danc|ing

My pen| is danc| ing

the mind | is work| ing

ide|as are pour| ing

the heart | is sing| ing

If you look at this first stanza you can notice how each line "almost" consists of one unstressed syllable and one stressed syllable(which makes a feet + one unstressed syllable). This is called iambic meter. You have followed this pattern in almost every line which makes a smooth read.

Can you find where you "haven't" followed this same pattern? 

R

raj

11 years 4 months ago

Thanks Rula

you have so nicely explained what lambic meter is, which i wasn't aware of.

Regards,

alidzain

alidzain

11 years 4 months ago

Hi Rula

could it be this one?

the writer's block returning
progress facing its enemy
the frustration is building
but surrender is not for me

Alid

wesley snow

wesley snow

11 years 4 months ago

Now this is more like it.

A dancing use of repetition and a clean meter to couch it.

This is the only line whose meter is troubled. Look at the rest and help it conform. A small poem with a consistent meter needs to be consistent throughout. A small slip can cripple an otherwise delightful poem.

"progress facing its enemy"

Do not fear the "block". Some of my best stuff came out of it. Know that the quality of poetry in those poems you fight with will be the same as those that write themselves. Sometimes we must struggle, sometimes we coast. Do me a favor though, don't write about writer's block anymore. You don't have the block... I magically remove it from you. Just because it's hard to write doesn't mean you are not producing.
Now, go and "block" no more.

alidzain

alidzain

11 years 4 months ago

Noted,

truth is I didn't write about the writer's block part when I first started to write this piece but I thought that it is too short so I put it in. What if I do away with that stanza and leave the rest as it is?What do you think?

Alid

Knowledge is a gift, health is wealth...

alidzain

alidzain

11 years 4 months ago

i'll try

to follow your suggestion, Jess.but I don't know if it works out on this piece..the meter might go crazy if I did,,

Alid