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Neopoem Of The Week February 26th to March 4th 2023
The Poetry Committee
It was two minutes to midnight
When I composed this ditty
Weary and bleary eyed
Was not feeling very witty
A final draft after editing
Submitted to a committee
In the morning they will meet
To examine what I wrote
If the members decide to publish
It may go to a vote
Will they be unanimous
Hope it’s a positive choice
The chairman has a veto
The committee has a voice
They recommended a rewrite
"This poem just doesn’t flow
We set a gold standard
Yours fell well below.
The theme is uneventful
And the rhymes are kind of trite
Its more like children’s verse
But not entirely shite."
Cut out the irony
Try and be more sincere
Give the reader the impression
You are more creative than you appear
The punctuation is erratic
And the grammar often sucks
Sentences like an accident
Were they run over by a truck ?
There are no literary devices
Try some show don’t tell
Use a majestic metaphor
And you will be doing well
Alliteration is addictive
And similes are what we like
Add more colour and imagery
Its more than black and white
We read some bad poems
Our patience is wearing thin
You have to make some improvements
Or your work is heading for the bin
You may try a book of prayer
Or a consultation with God
Because next time the Committee
Will be a firing squad
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Comments
Geezer
2 years 4 months ago
Funny stuff...
Come on now, it's not that bad! We don't shoot people for writing bad poetry. I love the story and the development sounds just like something I might write. Although you do have the process down pretty well, we never take it to the extreme. LoL
Nice work! I needed a laugh this morning, and you provided one, thanks. ~ Geezer.
.
Sen99
2 years 4 months ago
We all need a laugh
...... once in a while, glad you chuckled, I'm getting better at rhymes for sure, this may the last time.
Sen99
2 years 4 months ago
I'm still alive
thanks for your kind laughs and comments, I'm still alive, was not shot this time