Poison

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem effectively utilizes the Haiku structure, maintaining the traditional 5-7-5 syllable count across its three lines. The choice of everyday vegetables as the subject matter grounds the poem in a relatable experience, which is a common feature of Haiku.

However, the poem could benefit from the inclusion of a kigo, or a season word, which is a traditional element of Haiku. This would provide a temporal context to the poem and deepen its connection to nature.

The use of the word 'poison' is a strong choice that conveys a sense of aversion and distaste. However, the phrase 'Promise of their vile flavor' could be refined. The word 'promise' typically has positive connotations, which may conflict with the negative tone you're aiming for. Consider using a word that more directly conveys the impending unpleasantness of the experience.

Lastly, the poem could benefit from a more vivid depiction of the sensory experience. Instead of telling the reader that the flavor is 'vile', show them how it affects the speaker. This could be achieved by using more descriptive language or by incorporating a metaphor or simile.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

there went my appetite!

*thanx, Cat

what you are saying! As a child, I didn't care much for spinach. I could eat it from a can, but not fresh spinach. My father was a big fresh spinach aficionado, no canned stuff for him! Unfortunately, he inflicted it on us children too; by making us sit there and gag it down. Ugh! Childhood poison! Yes! A great description. ~ Geez.
.

Along with several others. I got lucky and my kids like all even some I would never have thought. This was a fun one!

I agree - a fun write! Nice form! Wish there was room for lima beans in there somewhere...
Thank you!
L