Keith Logan

Nov 16, 2016 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Poor Annabelle

There was a maiden loved a youth
and he was handsome (tell the truth)
a gnarled dwarf.
A sailor proud of fortune keen
his dwelling was indeed serene
(beneath a wharf).

She pined for him so many years
her friends said 'twill all end in tears;
poor Annabelle.
At last he came one summer's night
but she awoke in such a fright,
he tripped and fell.

O woe is me, I've hurt my head
please take me home to my own bed,
I'll call no more.
She took him up and took him in
to her bedroom, was it a sin?
She slammed the door!

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: United Kingdom (Scotland), GBR

Favorite Poets: Robert Burns, Robert Lewis Stevenson, Kipling., I like things childish.

Comments

Candlewitch

8 years 8 months ago

lol!

this gave me a chuckle and put a smile on my face :) I also loved the style with which it was written. thank you!

*hugs, Cat

Keith Logan

8 years 8 months ago

Thanks Cat

I'm glad it made you chuckle, it was fun to write.

judyanne

8 years 7 months ago

Ditto what Cat said

A fun read ... and good rhythm and rhyme

Love judy
xxx

Keith Logan

8 years 7 months ago

Thanks Judy

Your good opinion is always worth having.

valene

8 years 7 months ago

First off I love how this reads. It has a great rhythm to it, almost lyrical. I like reading poems out loud, because it gives me a better sense as to how to the flow, and it makes this work even more enjoyable!
I also want to thank you for my laugh of the day. I needed one and you've come through!

best wishes,
valene

Keith Logan

8 years 7 months ago

Why, thank you kindly Valene

I like the fact you read poems out loud, that's the way I write them. I Hear the poem as I read or write within my head as though listening to it spoken loud.

valene

8 years 7 months ago

Hello happy chappy

I think it makes a difference when you read something out loud cos then you can 'really hear' how the words and/or thoughts fit. I too sometimes 'write' out loud as well and it truly helps!

val

Keith Logan

8 years 7 months ago

You are

of course correct. Reading out loud will show up anything that reads alright on the page but trips the tongue when articulated. I therefor stand corrected.

K William

8 years 4 months ago

I think you should read it

I think you should read it out aloud a few more times. I can't read anymore, if this is it, then perhaps I should switch to another site. Thank you for all your kind words and support.

Keith Logan

8 years 4 months ago

Took your advice

Read it aloud three times. It did not trip me once. Maybe I am too familiar with it. Please think carefully before taking any decision about leaving, your work is generally good in my opinion but mine does not matter. there are many people on this site who have articulated a great love for your style.

Keith Logan

8 years 4 months ago

Thank you Jerry K

It may or may not surprise you but I don't count iambs or even beats but simply go by the flow. If it sounds right it can't be far wrong. As someone who's work and positive attitude I have always admired, I have no hesitation to take up your offer.