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Nov 08, 2013
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poor those sullen minds
I thought poor … like pee
of those sullen minds
till I met and read ye
you held my hand….
many try to kill…
and upon others soil till …
that is the way with this wicked world…
we all know…
how the real ones perish…
whilst others glow…
and so it's time to surface here ..
and form a tracer… like a bullet...
and so may it be the violet...
I held to my feet
dug deep ...
as I learnt then
when we did meet
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Barbara Writes
11 years 8 months ago
Nice one
Sullen mind, wicked ones is causing much sorrows in the earth.
Deep and heartfelt. With all this never ending trail upon people sullen anyone's thinking.
I'm tired so I hope I get it.
loved
11 years 8 months ago
thanks for passing by
I very much appreciate
Seren
11 years 8 months ago
Loved
There are some really good lines in this one I would love to see it tightened up with an edit. By the way I noticed in one of your comments to me you asked about an edit, was that recent or from some time ago? you will have to remind me.
I liked the content of this one you can really turn out some surprising writes sometimes :)
love JC xxx
p.s. I think this one could do with a better title that one just doesn't do it for me
loved
11 years 8 months ago
thanks
in the meantime
please edit this
as I locate the recent comment of yours
on the other one..
which I will have to revisit
loved
11 years 8 months ago
the other one is
and Who is God