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Nov 30, 2010
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pot plants
`
hapless indulgences
animated silences
quiver
hankered imagination
ambiguous synapses
quibble
each way you turn
each thought you churn
new lessons learn
potted flower plants
line your driveway
mind you don't crush them
`
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Another short poem with an admixture of rhymes and non-rhymes, hopefully blended together tastefully and effectively. It's title too may help stimulate the reader's mind on what approach to take its reading. Have fun!
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
loved
14 years 7 months ago
Take care
the driveway may be too narrow
at times potted plants walk away
if long legs have they
you come once in a way
where are the potted plants
anyway!!!
Frederick Kesner
14 years 7 months ago
Thanks LH
Sometimes the legs that they seem to have grown
are those of deft little hands that take for their own
what is in fact someone else's hard earned garden!
Hooded Stranger
14 years 7 months ago
CB
CB,
your writing does intrigue me. I find your words can send the reader in different directions allowing us to have our own meaning of the poem.
I really liked the last line word at the end of stanza's one and two...i would have liked you to have done that for the next two stanza's, but that's just my OCD and the need for uniformity.
The awkward rhyming worked really well too.
My only problem with this piece, is it is about 6 stanza's too short...I could have read this piece for ages.
regards,
HS
Frederick Kesner
14 years 7 months ago
HS, this means a lot to me
Especially coming from one so well grounded in the art of lyric writing.
It is not everyday that lyricists come by my type of poetry,
let alone for them to appreciate these little 'gems' (as I might refer to them).
Allowing the reader the room to travel alongside the poem
in their own milieu both internal and external is one of the main pillars of my poetical philosophy.
I am truly glad that this has come across with such clarity.
I will endeavour to one of these days provide you with a more structured metre and rhyme.
Add to that a promise to post one up with sufficient length to suit! Cheers, CB
Geezer
14 years 7 months ago
Your title...
certainly stimulated my thoughts. I reread this, after a little stimulation to the brain cells, and lo and behold !
It all made perfect sense! LOL. I was intriqued by the style, and think you did a really fine job of blending everything together. ~ Geezer
Frederick Kesner
14 years 7 months ago
Dear Geezer
That was mighty kind of you to say so and equally kind to relay to me your journey with my little poem. I am so glad that it was pleasantly intriguing to you. Many thanks for your support and feedback. Cheers, CB