wesley snow

Nov 24, 2012 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

This poem is part of the workshop:

fixed verse – it's not a curse

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Description: Context can be critical to poetics. For example, poetry that records historic events in epics, such as Gilgamesh, will necessarily be lengthy and narrative, while poetry used for liturgical purposes (hymns, psalms, sutras and hadiths) needs to have an inspirational tone. Elegy and tragedy are meant to evoke deep emotional responses, while comic is supposed to provoke laughter.

Various forms of poetry have been ‘invented’ throughout history, as poets have attempted to find the most appropriate and effective way to use sound to present their message.

Poetic form refers to various sets of "rules" followed by poems of certain types. The rules may describe such aspects (amongst many others) as the rhythm or meter of the poem; its rhyme scheme; use of (for example) repetition or alliteration, even length.

This workshop will be an ongoing (superficial) examination of various forms within the ‘western’ tradition, in which we will simply take one at a time and, after a short discussion to ascertain its purpose, attempt to write one ourselves (or more if we so desire).

Leader: judyanne

Moderator(s): wesley snow

Objectives: The goal of this workshop is to familiarise ourselves with various types of poetry in order to raise our awareness as to the effectiveness of different forms to deliver different messages. It is also the goal of this workshop to practice our iambic/ trochaic, in preparation for a future sonnet workshop.

Level of expertise: Open to all

Subject matter: A form of poetry will be presented once a week. It will not be necessary for you to try every form if you join the shop – merely the ones that interest you. It will be necessary, however, to contribute to short discussions and comment on any poems posted by others in the shop.

Please note: the AC has changed it so Workshop postings no longer count in the one-poem-to-be-submitted-a-day rule. Members can post as many workshop contributions as they need to and still post a poem a day.

This workshop is closed.

Pother; a Pantoum

Now, let us speak of pain my friend
and all its presence once implied;
of how it made my mother bend
the long, sad years before she died.

And all its presence once implied
‘twas more than I could hope to bear.
The long, sad years before she died
all proved the start of scathing wear.

‘Twas more than I could hope to bear,
the rack was ne’ertheless my lot.
All proved the start of scathing wear
when father passed from heart’s fell clot.

The rack was ne’ertheless my lot,
though I would pray for better than.
When father passed from heart’s fell clot
I knew God posed a hurtful plan.

Though I would pray for better than,
my sister wed a man of crime.
I knew God posed a hurtful plan
as mad depression left its grime.

My sister wed a man of crime,
they caught him cringing in a field.
As mad depression left its grime
I knew to folly I would yield.

They caught him cringing in a field.
No help was I to his young heir.
I knew to folly I would yield~
the drink I took to as a dare.

No help was I to his young heir.
All for the best, no doubt, you say.
The drink I took to as a dare
to poison “self” through each bleak day.

All for the best, no doubt, you say,
but you know not the depths I sought;
to poison “self” through each bleak day;
to take my life lest dree the rot.

But you know not the depths I sought.
Three times I risked the life to fail.
To take my life lest dree the rot;
to temporize and thereby quail.

Three times I risked the life to fail.
I wearied of the game at last.
To temporize and thereby quail~
an epitaph deferred aghast.

I wearied of the game at last
to thankfully find love’s rapport.
An epitaph deferred aghast~
a prospect hazard never more.

I thankfully found love’s rapport
to help me from arthritis mend.
A prospect hazard never more~
speak not to me of pain, my friend.

Pother; a heated discussion, debate or argument.
Dree; to suffer, endure.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: I don't much care for the subject matter here, but sometimes the damn things write themselves and suddenly I'm either sharing too much or whining.

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Southern California, USA

Favorite Poets: Tolkien, Byron, Longfellow, Shakespeare, Dr. Suess, Elizabeth Browning, Robert Browning, Dickinson

Comments

Rula

12 years 7 months ago

i knew

You will be the first to submit as this is a longer form. It is late here ,so I'll hopefully come tomorrow with fresher mind and eyes :).I have submitted mine too, another story of pain. I would be grateful if you dropped it a visit Sir!.

Rula

12 years 7 months ago

I am not sure where our dear judy is :)

but here I am as I promised.
You caught my breath while reading this till the very last line. This is how I read it and I thanked God that you failed to end Your Life!! I thought this is really horrible. This is too much indeed. I can't imagine how would someone who brings too much joy to others might suffer all this pain. Again I am happy you found the love that saved your life.

I think the form works hand in hand with your story , don't you?

While others might crit. the great amount of pain that wrapped this piece , I find my self craving for more though I am not sure why .

Thanks for sharing

Ross Hamilton Hill

12 years 7 months ago

Hi Wesley

I found this very satisfying to read, the repetitions have a hypnotic effect. It seems very accomplished. I did baulk at 'dree the rot' which seems very obscure, but it has its charm. My only real jolt was arthritis, not sure why but the use of that word seemed out of place, as if the drama had suddenly been reduced to a headache.
kind thoughts
ross