Priceless

How pathetic it is
when a man sees his value in currency
though he is born priceless!

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: singapore, SGP

Favorite Poets: Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Sarojini Naidu and friends in Neopoet.

Comments

Rula

11 years 5 months ago

Priceless

is this little gem Khalid.
I like its brevity.

Try replacing "when" Line 3 with "though"
and remove the ",,," .You don't need them really.
Much enjoyed.

alidzain

11 years 5 months ago

Thanks, Rula

done the edit.

Alid

Seren

11 years 4 months ago

Alid

Very nice I can find nothing to suggest its a polished little gem

well done my friend

love and hugs JC xxx

alidzain

11 years 4 months ago

thanks, JC

By the way, come check out "Listen","The Frustrated Zombie" and "Vampires' Night" when you have the time. the first one is very emotional as I was helping a friend , going through her divorce, the second one is for fun, asked by Stan and the last is a dark poem asked by Wesley. Tell me what you think.I'm still not good with meter.

Alid