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Nov 09, 2022
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A pristine day, a miraculous boon ( Euphonous English WS)
A pristine day, busy and bright,
my spirit sinks in deep delight.
A spark of hope, a gift to muse,
A blessing that I loathe to lose,
The shaking golden rays of dawn shall shortly stay,
to announce the heavenly bless; a pristine day.
A miraculous boon; won't last,
Alas, this too shall die too fast.
Though I wish that good days to slow,
and more to flourish, more to grow
Fortunately the gloomy night shall shortly swoon
For new dawn announces a miraculous boon.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: About the form: The Wrapped Refrain The Wrapped Refrain, created by Jan Turner, consists of 2 or more stanzas of 6 lines each; Meter: 8,8,8,8,12,12 and Rhyme Scheme: a,a,b,b,c,c. Refrain rule: In each stanza the first 4 syllables (or 4 single-syllable words) in the first line must be the last 4 syllables (or 4 single-syllable words) at the end of the last line. This is what wraps each stanza with a repeated refrain ...thus, the Wrapped Refrain. Optional: The first stanza refrain and last stanza refrain can be joined (or loosely joined) together for the title of the poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Rula
2 years 8 months ago
Hello Mark
Thank you very much for the time and the comment. I'm too happy to see that my pen hasn't dried yet after this long time.
I can't thank you enough for your effort to run this workshop so smoothly..
edits done re bless.
RoseBlack
2 years 8 months ago
Great job
Not only do I love the simplicity and beauty of the poem, but admire your ability to embrace and excel with new forms. Well done!
Rula
2 years 8 months ago
Dear RB
Thank you dear for the kind visit and the comment.
Very much appreciate it.
Geezer
2 years 8 months ago
Yes...
I am amazed at your knowledge of poetic forms. Very nice job! ~ Geez.
.
Rula
2 years 8 months ago
Sir Geezer
such a compliment from the masters.
Thank you
Race_9togo
2 years 8 months ago
Hi Rula,
I would not even attempt this kind of structure and rhyme and cadence...
...just, well done, so very well done.
Rula
2 years 8 months ago
Hello jim
Can't thank you enough for the your kind visit.
I know you can write any form, any structure if you wished for it.
Appreciate it!
scribbler
2 years 8 months ago
Hi desert flower
Does using a wrapped refrain mean you are now a rapper? (just kidding). You did well in using such a restrictive form
Rula
2 years 8 months ago
Hi Stan
Great to hear from you Mr. Rhymer.
Missed your works. Shall visit tomorrow as it is really late here.
Much appreciated.
Jakub Zoltowski
2 years 6 months ago
Avril Lavigne
It's a shit :) shit shit