Prose & Poetry

Someone dropped a pen.
His name was Prose.
"Write." Said he.
"Use it to bind ideas
With its tears as the rope."
So I tried.
But my strength
Rattles with his weight.

"Let me interfere."
Said Poetry.
"Scrape what you have done
And let your heart
Do the talking."
So I did.
Now I speak
In deeper linings.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Thanks Amalzamani for the tip. "on" changed to "with" on the last line of the first stanza.

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Manila, PHL

Favorite Poets: R.S. Thomas, William Blake, Emily Dickinson, Dylan Thomas

Comments

Dennis Go

14 years 5 months ago

Dear Ian

Using the pen to bind ideas with its (tears - ink) as the rope.

Thanks for the suggestion. I'll try to internalize on this.

Dennis Go

14 years 5 months ago

Thanks Amalzamani.

Maybe "Rattles with his weight"? The word "beneath" somewhat doesn't sound right.

Thanks a lot for the suggestion.

Dennis Go

14 years 5 months ago

Thanks. Edited.

scribbler

14 years 5 months ago

hello Dennis

well the 2 above addressed my main concerns lol. Did you mean"Scrap what you have done"? A good theme on the power of poetry over prose, I think.............scribbler