Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

mand

Mar 25, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Proverbs Of Faith ( Haiku )

Like passing shadows
We are only yesterday's
Exhalations.

Written By Moses..

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: GBR

More from this author

Comments

14 years 4 months ago

excellent haiku, love it!

but why the king solomon reference? I bet he never consciously wrote any haikus. Please explain. Did you find these words and discover they could be expressed as haiku, verbatim?

14 years 3 months ago

Hi Jess

Nice to see you! Yes I found the words and discovered they could be expressed as a haiku, so I can't take any credit for it! I just loved the way he put it, especially the second line.

Great isn't it.

Love Mand xxxxxxxx

Oops! got it wrong (again). Should be Moses, who is acredited with writting the book of Job.

The text is Job 8v9 "For we were only yesterday, and we know nothing,
Because our days on earth are a shadow".

14 years 3 months ago

yes. You could take credit by improving it.

Like passing shadows
We are only yesterdays
Exhalations.

That breaks the strict 5-7-5 but makes it make more sense, eh?
Although perhaps a tad nihilistic.

14 years 3 months ago

...underlying complexities.

Ah, are we yesterday or have we turned into
tomorrow before our time, I felt the changing
of time from here to there Norway to USA to
Geneva to all the places where the time changed,
and I wondered who reads what when and when it really is.

This is dead right 5-7-5
I am not perfectly sure I understand the poem,
I would like a little information about its meaning,
probably something I know little about is within it.

As the haiku form is wont to express something
in a simple manner with underlying complexities.

Good stuff I guess Mand of Wales
where the blackthorn is maybe flowering?
Love to you from Ann.

14 years 3 months ago

Hi Ann

Good to hear from you! I hope the weather is good in Norway! Interesting! travelling from one time zone to another, travelling into yesterday, or into tomorrow! I like it Ann, guess we don't think about those things until we travel, or we have it pointed out to us.

King David was showing the transients of life: Psalms 144 v 4

"Man himself bears resemblance to a mere exhalation;
His days are like a passing shadow".

David quoted from Job:
"For we were only yesterday, and we know nothing, Because our days on earth are a shadow."

I just like the way they put it!

Hope you enjoyed your hols! bet you got lots of pictures! all outstandingly beautiful. I love the book you sent me! outstanding pics, you are a brilliant photographer, artist, author and poet.

Thanks Ann.

Love Mand xxxxxxx

R

14 years 3 months ago

Dear Mand

you have captured a fact of life so beautifully in this lovely Haiku...

much love

14 years 3 months ago

Hi Raj

Hope you are well! The Bible character Job is attributed to saying the words in this haiku. I just loved the way he expressed the transience of our lives! Later on King David Quoted his words!

Thanks for reading and commenting Raj nice to hear from you

Love Mand xxxxxxx

14 years 3 months ago

Hi Shirl me girl.

Hope you and Vanni are o.k and the weather is good in Florence. We had a brilliant time on Satuarday - thanks for asking - your turn next eh!

Can't take the credit for the words of this one Shirl! I just loved the way Job expressed the duration of our lives - so poetical.

Thanks for reading and commenting - always good to hear from you.

Love Mand xxxxxxxx

S

14 years 3 months ago

hi mand

the past leads to that ephemeral moment that is not yet the future. Damn! that sounds almost profound, must have stolen it from somebody lol. I also am curious if this was taken word for word from solomon...........stan

14 years 3 months ago

Hi Stan

Cool! Very profound! You could turn that into a poem! Sorry I got the writer wrong! Lol I'm such a scatter brain.

Moses wrote the words of Job. i.e

Job 8v9 For we were only yesterday, and we know nothing,
Because our days on earth are a shadow.

Then King David quoted his words and added alittle bit more. i.e

Psalms 144 v 4 " Man himself bears resemblance to a mere exhalation;
His days are like a passing shadow".

I just liked it so I adapted it.

Thanks Stan! Kind of you to read and comment.

Love Mand xxxxxxxx

P

14 years 3 months ago

i'm a little at sea over this

i'm a little at sea over this ...

king solomon's words?
perhaps your own take on psalm 144 v 4

they're not solomon's words verbatim....
so i wonder why you attribute this write to him?

regardless ...much truth in this, and a well
written haiku

[exhalation ~ exultation]

cheers
p

14 years 3 months ago

Hi Pleiades

Quite right! Got the author wrong. Author was Job! Taken from Job 8 V 9
and King David quoted from it later on in Psalms 144 v 4.

I just liked the poetical way he expressed our transient lives!

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Love Mand xxxxxxxx

14 years 3 months ago

Ha ha!

True many wise words were attributed to David - being a shephered I guess he had more time than most to observe and think about life.

It seems that David quoted from Job ( 8v9 ). But I was really sure that I read it in Proverbs, I'll have to look it up! my mind must be in a tiz. Either way I just loved the way these writers expressed themselves.

The sermon on the mount is another profound write - it hasn't been confirmed but I believe Ghandi read it and thought it profound.

Thanks Yenti - Glad you researched

Keep safe

Love Mand xxxxxxxx

V

14 years 3 months ago

Very interesting

I wonder how many other haiku we could find in the Holy Bible. Fascinating.

14 years 3 months ago

Hi Vexation 10

Kind of you to read and comment, quite a few I should think, especially from Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Job and many of the sayings of Jesus + others. The writers seemed to express themselves in poetical beauty - to me anyway!

Thanks once again for reading!

Love Mand xxxxxxxx

14 years 3 months ago

Mand,

I love this haiku of yours.
It does not matter who first wrote down the meaning, in the end.
Truth is truth.

Most well done.

14 years 3 months ago

Hi Jim

Me to! It's amazing to think that the words of Job may be well over 4,000 years old!

Great to hear from you. Thanks for reading and commenting.

Love Mand xxxxxx

14 years 3 months ago

Mand,

Sorry for the long delay...busybusybusy lol.

That's the true power of the written word, isn't it? Thousands of years lie between then and now, and yet we know them, we know their fears and dreams, their beliefs and angers and doubts and certainties and opinions and faith and...
...because they wrote them all down, not knowing who among us in the furure would read, remember, or even care.
Truly, written words are hope made manifest.

14 years 3 months ago

Hi Jim

So true! The written word connects and encompasses the human race, makes us realize that we are not so different. Who knows who will read our words in years to come! I like your last sentence, "Words are hope made manifest".

Thanks Jim.

P.s I understand busy, busy, busy, Just good to hear from you as and when.

Love Mand xxxxxx

14 years 3 months ago

so true

so true we are really just a whiper in time

14 years 3 months ago

Hi Hobo

Like your expression, "A whimper in time", especially as a human life time inveriably incorportates some sort of suffering!

Great to hear from you! I hope you enjoy today and all days hence forth.

Love Mand xxxxxxxxx

14 years 3 months ago

Hi Xena

Great to hear from you! Got it spot on eh! I hope you are well and enjoying the sun.

Thanks for reading and commenting Xena.

Love Mand xxxxxxx

M

14 years 3 months ago

Loved it

Mand it is nice and needed in here about now. I love your expressive write done so well friend

Miss you and bless you
Mona

14 years 3 months ago

Hi Mona

Good to hear from you! I hope your family are all o.k. I look forward to getting back to reading and writing in the not to distant future.

Keep safe.

Love Mand xxxxxxxxx

14 years 3 months ago

Dear Mand,

A very expressive write. I also like what Jess did with it. Both very nice!

love, Cat

14 years 3 months ago

HI Cat

I hope you are o.k. Great to hear from you! Yet I'll change it straight away. Nice of you to read and comment.

Love Mand xxxxxx

14 years 3 months ago

good to see the change, Mand,

just and only were incongruous. Now it just needs
yesterday
yesterday's

or

We are only yesterday
We were only yesterday

to be perfect.

14 years 3 months ago

Hi Jess

Thank you for looking in! I appreciate your input and advice. I'll take another look.

Love Mand xxxxxxx

D

14 years 3 months ago

Hi Mand

Its perfectly fine to use lines from the bible to enrich your poetry, cosgreve did it "Hell hath no fury..." etc, etc. Dylan Thomas did it "And death shall have no Dominion" even this minor poet I have done it. I don't see anything wrong with that and I love your poem.

John

14 years 3 months ago

Thanks John

I think Shakespear quoted from the Bible to. Many words and phrases in the Bible hit the spot and are timeless.

Thanks once again for your kind words.

Love Mand xxxxxx