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Oct 21, 2022
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Proximity Of You
Sometimes I feel the pull towards you
Other times, goes unnoticed
The agonising proposition
Cause no matter how I try
You still lurk in my head
A reminder of my weaknesses
Void of confidence and certainty
But with you near - more so
When I want to cry but hold empty eyes
Will you answer my queries
For this beast cannot be kept at bay
Slowly extinguishing the flame alight within
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
RoseBlack
2 years 8 months ago
A beautiful piece
Feelings I have felt before...there always seems to be one that impacts our lives forever, the one we can't forget. The feelings never go away even if they aren't reciprocated, they just get set aside. Great job depicting those feelings.
Maybe change weaknesses to weakness? And perhaps change "When I want to cry" to "I want to cry"
Just a few suggestions but overall a wonderful write with deep, emotional meaning.
Geezer
2 years 8 months ago
You have touched upon...
something that, as Roseblack says; I do believe that many have felt at least once in their lives. That one that may have been a crush at one time or another. It doesn't matter if it is someone who was a friend or person that sat next to you in class. Maybe someone that because they were involved with someone else, never looked your way; the one that thought of you as just a friend. Well written and thought provoking. ~ Geezer.
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