P.T.S.D/ The harbinger.

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

The poem takes on one of the heaviest subjects a writer can approach, and its strongest moments come when the physical body carries the weight rather than abstraction. "I grip my pistol and pray aloud as I wait for night to pass" works because it grounds the dread in a concrete action and a specific span of time; the reader feels the long wait alongside the speaker. Similarly, "It sits like a lead weight in my chest" lands because it gives the grief a physical mass the reader can sense.

The image that does the most is the one of demons "wearing faces of the deceased." That single line yokes the haunting to the named loss of "loved ones that have passed and casualties I regret," and the connection between the two stanzas is the poem's emotional core. The poem might trust this image more and let it do more of the work.

Where the writing relies on naming the feeling directly rather than enacting it, the effect softens. Phrases like "Anxiety sets in" and "all-consuming hell" tell the reader what to feel without giving an image to feel it through. The opening stanza in particular stacks several abstractions together: "A sinking feeling," "Crushing cold," "a darkness." The hand that "grips your throat" is the most vivid of these, and the stanza might gain force by cutting some of the surrounding abstractions and opening on that concrete grip.

One craft element worth attention is the shifting address. The first stanza speaks to "you," then the poem moves into "my" and "me" for the rest. Settling on a single point of view, most likely the first person the poem ultimately commits to, would steady the voice and pull the reader closer to the speaker from the start.

The closing turn toward prayer gives the poem a clear arc, moving from the grip of night to a direct plea. The final question, "When will this nightmare end Oh God?", is bare and honest. It might land harder with a moment of specific image just before it, so the cry arrives out of something seen rather than after the more general "demons" and "pain." Consider whether the punctuation and line arrangement throughout could be tightened as well, since several lines run together in ways that may blur the rhythm the speaker's breathless state could otherwise convey.

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The only possible accidental thing that stood out to me was “my nightmares. and” with the period/lowercase “and” there. 

Other than that, this reads like prose-poetry to me, and I’m honestly a huge fan of prose like this when it fits the wound, and I think it does here. First though, I hope this is something you’re finding your way through. If not, call 988 or let a physician know. I was diagnosed a few years ago with severe depression, lifelong symptoms according to my doctor, and writing became one of the ways I coped. I’m lucky that I don’t feel that way today, but the diagnosis sticks, I guess. 

Back to the poem: I wonder if it might benefit from a sudden break here or there, but that might just be me speaking through my own style. I don’t think I have much specific advice. Read it over, aloud if you can, and you might find one or two pressure points to adjust, but this feels close to final to me.