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Jun 06, 2018
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Purify
Blue Skies black to night
the devil and God must fight
Silver streaks of light
man runs and hides in pure fright
Rain washes away the blight
About This Poem
Last Few Words: I'm working on my style. I'd like to become a better poet and learn the various styles of writing while holding on to my voice.
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
tyro
7 years ago
I like this very much, but I
I like this very much, but I like abstract poems. One point though, all the lines end with a soft, hard tone, but line four end with a hard, hard tone "pure fright" is the adjective, pure, really necessary,
In these types of poems its always the last line that engages most thought, and your last line does the trick.
lovedly
7 years ago
man runs and hides in pure fright
man runs and hides in pure fright.....
perhaps
.......in broad daylight
kindly view
Heartfelt
6 years 2 months ago
reply
thanks, I usually go with what comes to mind. I edit only to cut out unnecessary wordiness grammatical errors. If I have a thought, in a haiku, or other Japanese type poems I usually go with it. To change my wording would be to change my complete thought pattern.