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CL
c lynn brooks
Aug 17, 2020 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

A Question Of If

If I sent you a dream
delivered on a moon beam
could you place it in a memory
or would it whither and die?

If I flew with silver wings
delivered on the western wind
could we meet where the coyote sings
or would the song fade and die?

If a wish was sent to where you are
delivered on a falling star
could you save it in your heart
or would it be denied and die?

But should I send you a tear
for every time I needed you near
then no beam,nor wish or song
could bring you to where I

About This Poem

Last Few Words: * because Gracy hinted at what she like to hear from me lol. This was written for someone near and dear to me

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: north carolina usa, USA

Favorite Poets: Leonard Cohen, Edgar Alan Poe, ray Bradbury, John Grissom, .Alan S Jeeves James patterson,

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Comments

R

raj

4 years 10 months ago

Hi Chrys

good combination of hope and fear in this poem...i liked it..

C

c lynn brooks

4 years 10 months ago

teddy

yes I do see it let me think about a moe appropriate title then thanks for your thoughts on this

godshouldnthave

godshouldnthave

4 years 10 months ago

The finish..

I read this a few times in a row.
Each time I felt a bit more of my own forlorn relationships from the past projecting themselves upon your words.
Your words helped me feel my own emotions and I suppose then process them just a bit more. Thank you.

The last word.... "am" feels like it is entirely unnecessary. You hit us with "die" at the end of each stanza. It is your rule. We are in. Riding your rhythm. Perhaps leaving us with ,"could bring you to where I..." tells us everything we need to know? "Am" is so location based. "I" is the all encompassing you and everywhere you dwell in need of they. Also it could be emotionally clever to send off your readers of a poem titled "A Question of If" with a question and an if.

Great work. Cheers.

C

c lynn brooks

4 years 10 months ago

ah ha

i see now where you are going with this
thank you for stopping by and lending your hand