Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Dec 27, 2010
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
QUIETISM
Ostracized from quietism
a renegade unafraid, traveling
back along the track that you
have laid.
Interfering as you thrall
not to loose a brawl
What fires would implode
your omniscient demeanor.
The complications of perceptions
my thoughts through your eyes
taking five to summarize.
The unforgiving inch loathing the
unending mile, bleeding lesions
the slow death of your reasons,
what understanding to implore.
Abandoning the lure I limp away on
blistered sores, preempted your
sad demise the fading echoes
of those lies.
Slanted view points thickening
like the wedge, seeking not an
archetype with predetermined
expectations, where we look and
fail to see truth staring back at thee.
My inquisitive side gets the better of me
the helter-skelter inside set free.
Unnoticed, atrocious
transfixed self focus.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
lou
14 years 6 months ago
Well Ziggy
ill have to read this a couple of times more, ill be back and comment then.
lou
ziggy
14 years 6 months ago
hi again
hi just so folk know , this is about someone who was happy with their
lot being forced to change direction in life and how a change in view
point can change our out look on any given situation, but there is more in
this ,,,,,,,zigs
lou
14 years 6 months ago
Zigs
I'm back. This poem leaves me with an ache in my heart, it's so painful, when a situation is forced upon you.
My favourite stanzas are 4 and 5
Lou x
ziggy
14 years 6 months ago
hi
hello there yes I like your interpretation of this one cheers
the fourth and fifth stanza were added in the last edit ,
cheers we must chat soon ,,,,,,,,,,,,enda x
ziggy
14 years 6 months ago
hi jayne
hey there cheers for reading me again so soon
and yet again I am delighted you approve, this
did take a bit of editing to get right lol , hope all is well
down under can you tell "LYZ" ziggy says hi ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs x
ziggy
14 years 6 months ago
hi there
hi cheers glad you got it , I did juggle this about a bit as I was not completely
happy with the first edit , well spotted I don't like to explain them to much as I prefer to
leave it open to interpretation , I 'll check you out soon cheers again your
always welcome to my page ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs x
Hooded Stranger
14 years 6 months ago
Zigs
Zigs,
you already know how much I love this write.
That said, it looks longer from the original version I read...I can't see what has changed as it all flows so well together that it is difficult to remember. Whatever changes you've made, they are great because the poem still has that 'Ziggy' feel to it.
Great imagery and word choice.
Abandoning the lure I limp away on
blistered sores, pre-empting your
sad demise the fading echoes
of those lies
love that stanza.
HS
ziggy
14 years 6 months ago
hi hood
yes your right I made changes since you saw this lol, I can't fool you
can I mate , the lines you picked out are new too. the verses that are new
here were in another write that I could not get finished called "miasma"
I hope your time with Oliver went well chat soon cheers mate ,,,,,,,,zigs
Hooded Stranger
14 years 6 months ago
Zigs
Zigs,
I may ask to use this one on my site too...once the comments have died down on it.
Great write and superb additions, now I know what they are.
Have a great New Year's eve my friend.
I had a great time with Oliver, I have come home to rest!
Lol!
regards,
HS
ziggy
14 years 6 months ago
hi hood
hi yes of course use this it would be my honour
and ty for the title help yet again lol, i think ill be
alone for new years but that is the norm for me lol ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs
ziggy
14 years 6 months ago
hi again
oops i totally missed this comment so sorry thank you
so much ,,,,,,,,,,zigs