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Jun 18, 2024
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RAMPAGE
Rekindle thy flame
Send thy fire on a rampage
Haven’t you heard what they say?
“A strike a day keeps the devil at bay”.
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
1 year 1 month ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "RAMPAGE" effectively captures a sense of urgency and power through its imagery of flames and striking against evil. The use of archaic language like "thy" and "Haven't you heard what they say?" adds a timeless quality to the poem. However, the poem could benefit from further development of its themes and ideas. Consider expanding on the consequences or implications of sending fire on a rampage, or delving deeper into the significance of keeping the devil at bay. Additionally, exploring different poetic devices such as metaphor, simile, or symbolism could enhance the richness of the poem.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Lavender
1 year 1 month ago
Rampage
Hello, Zii,
Welcome to Neopoet! I am taken with your first poem, especially as an entry to the Living With Depression contest. I tend to have anxiety when a major change happens in my life. Your poem speaks to me as a way to conquer anxiety and fear - to be bold and arm yourself, to strike. I like the brevity and archaic language. Strong title. It gives power to so few words.
I will return after your response to learn more.
Again, welcome to Neopoet!
Lavender
Zii
1 year 1 month ago
Hi Lavender, thanks for your
Hi Lavender, thanks for your kind words. I’m glad to hear you could connect with my poetry in such a way as you have. Sending you my love and strength, I hope you conquer your fears and anxiety. Never forget Lavender, strike.
mark
1 year ago
Yes
Great poem Zii ! I totally agree with Lavender. also I think you could find a better connection between the first two and last two lines so that the transit is clear lavender got it right off the bat. I was confused there. But that's just me, doesn't take much to confuse me these days, in the way people write poetry. But depression I have known and if you can deal with one of the devil's evil deeds a day you certainly will beat depression soon.
Best of luck,