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weirdelf
weirdelf
Jul 16, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Rancour

Rancour
Bleak
I feel it
Do you?
I value sunsets and sunrises
mountains,
red rocks
and the souls in the eyes of animals.

Yet, rancour, bleak.
We have got better
we no longer hang someone
for the theft of a loaf of bread.

But not good enough,
not by a long way

To stay alive
to have a reason to have children

we must be better.

It seems simple to me
(with an IQ of 180+)
That competition is obsolete
co-operation and balance are survival.

Disagree.

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Sydney, Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: The Romantics, The Mersey Sound, The Beats and, of course, The Bard

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Comments

K

Kailashana2

14 years ago

Except for that line of 180

Except for that line of 180 IQ. I enjoyed the poem. For me, emotional intelligence (EQ) is more important. Science is great but if we don't know how to use it productively, well look at the world without rose-coloured glasses. And deal with one another without someone else having to sort it all out.

Cowards are not productive and shouldn't reproduce.

~A

weirdelf

weirdelf

14 years ago

the 180 iq was a cheap shot

we all know those tests were defined for white western culture people.
Still, 180+, even by those terms. means something. I can beat them at their own games. One of my favourite sayings
"tell 'em, fuckem, nah, tell 'em nothing"
I'm sure you understand.

weirdelf

weirdelf

14 years ago

My dear, gentle Ian

I am not sure if you can encompass my thorough dislike of most of human society whilst adoring life and beauty. Is it such a paradox? I think not. Someone said real genius is reconciling paradox.
Let's try

weirdelf

weirdelf

14 years ago

oooops

Shot acknowledged. I did not intend to be condescending, but if you read my comment again, without taking umbrage, I would value your opinion.

weirdelf

weirdelf

14 years ago

I still see Elves

though have finally admitted, with the help of a mirror, I am not one.

Apart fro the aforementioned Peter Pan Syndrome.

S

scribbler

14 years ago

Hi Jess

Kinda reminds me of how I reply when someone asks me "How's the world treating you?" I tell them world is treating me fine, it's people who give me hell lol. I think the IQ 180 is superfluous, but other than that,I don't see any change needed in poem. But I'm no free verse expert either................stan