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random contest #15 (4) It's Hard To Breathe
random contest topic (#4) It's Hard To Breathe
I Find It's Hard To breathe
when I see your morning face,
hair all tossed from sleep
I find it's hard to breathe.
whenever you speak my name
it sounds to me, like a poem,
I find it's hard to breathe.
when I hear you laugh
at some little thing I've said,
I find it's hard to breathe.
when you sit down beside me
taking my hands in yours,
I find it's hard to breathe.
whenever I hear your voice
so soft and low and mellow,
I find it's hard to breathe.
when you kiss me good night
softly upon my lips like a whisper
I Find it's ever so hard to breathe.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: written for Steven
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Dalton
3 years 1 month ago
My dear Cat
A truly loving velum gentle romantic poem describing the gentile sentiments of a woman in love or how she wants to be in love
Candlewitch
3 years 1 month ago
my dearest Dalton,
I thank you so very much. I stand in your debt.
*hugs, Cat
Geezer
3 years 1 month ago
Yes...
I am in agreement! A woman so in love with her mate! Not a bit ashamed to say it! Language use is great, and the R, P and P
good too! Of course the theme appeals to me, and the beginning and end slide smoothly together. ~ Hugs for the girl, ~ Geez.
.
Candlewitch
3 years 1 month ago
dear Geezer,
tell me, what is the R, P and P? thank you for the excellent critique, it is greatly appreciated! after near 40 (on June 27th) years of marriage I still feel that way. I know he feel's the same as he tells me everyday
*hugs, Cat
Geezer
3 years 1 month ago
It is...
Rhythm, pattern and pacing. ~ Geez.
.
Candlewitch
3 years 1 month ago
thank you Gee,
I'll remember that!
*hugs, Cat