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re-creation
Sol's spirit skips across the blue -
a nascent multispectrumed hue
that sparkles in the morning dew.
Life made anew, life made anew.
His rays spread out, so manyfold,
across an easel dawn has rolled,
the new day's works to be there scrolled
in threads of gold, in threads of gold.
O'er mounts of green the morning breaks
to desert that no water slakes
and elsewhere there'll be soft snowflakes
the world awakes, the world awakes.
An animated mural warms
as all of life arouses, swarms,
and somewhere there'll be violent storms,
as art performs, as art performs.
I'd sit here at my breakfast table,
a new day born for my appraisal,
and say a maker is a fable...
were I but able, were I but able.
.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
jane210660
9 years 2 months ago
I love everything about this,
I love everything about this, the meter, the repetition of the last line and of course the poem itself.
I've been trying to write a few poems in rhyme, including a ballad, but they just feel forced and a bit trite.
This has such a natural flow, as though the rhyme were incidental.
Ah well, back to the drawing board for me........ :-)
Jx
judyanne
9 years 2 months ago
thank you Jane
So glad you like this....
just for your info, if you're interested, this form is known as a monotetra
- written in iambic tetrameter, with the repetition in the last verse of each stanza...
I think you're being a bit harsh with yourself re rhyme - I don't find what you write as seeming forced . ..
Love judy
xxx
jane210660
9 years 2 months ago
Haha, that's because I haven
Haha, that's because I haven't put the forced stuff on here.....
It's only happened recently, since I've been getting into the more technical aspects and bending my poetry to fit in with a certain style.
I started a ballad the other day............... ummmm, will go back to it later, because it's a gothic story I want to tell.
As we say in Yorkshire "It'll be reet"
Thanks for the info, I am interested. Jx
lovedly
9 years 2 months ago
too good judy
in neo its only
I read your poetry
Ooooo
What a novelty!
judyanne
9 years 2 months ago
hi loved
Thank you
love judy
xxx
Keith Logan
9 years 2 months ago
This has
a warm and tranquil feel about it, the wording so natural that the rhyme never intrudes.
judyanne
9 years 2 months ago
hi Keith
Thank you for the very kind comment
love judy
xxx