realities

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem engages with an abstract concept—multiple realities—through concrete images such as traffic, clouds, surfers, and astronomers. This approach effectively grounds the abstract idea, making it accessible to readers. However, there are several areas that could benefit from revision and further development:

1. **Imagery and Clarity:**
The poem uses several similes ("like clouds or traffic," "like astronomers expect supernovas") that, while vivid individually, do not clearly connect to each other or build toward a unified meaning. Consider clarifying or expanding these comparisons to ensure they align more cohesively with the central theme.

2. **Consistency of Metaphors:**
The metaphor of realities as waves and spaces between cars is intriguing, but the introduction of astronomers and supernovas in the final line feels abrupt and somewhat disconnected. Consider either expanding this astronomical metaphor earlier in the poem or maintaining consistency with the earlier imagery of traffic and waves.

3. **Word Choice and Precision:**
The phrase "slightly tangible friend" is intriguing but somewhat ambiguous. Clarifying what is meant by "slightly tangible" could strengthen the reader's understanding and emotional connection to the poem.

4. **Structure and Flow:**
The poem currently reads as a stream-of-consciousness reflection. While this can be effective, the lack of punctuation and clear breaks may hinder readability and dilute impact. Consider introducing line breaks, punctuation, or stanza divisions strategically to guide the reader and emphasize key ideas.

5. **Depth and Development:**
The poem touches on interesting philosophical ideas about appreciating present realities and anticipating future ones. However, these ideas are only briefly mentioned. Expanding on the emotional or philosophical implications of these realities could provide greater depth and resonance.

Overall, the poem would benefit from clearer connections between metaphors, more precise language, and structural adjustments to enhance readability and thematic coherence.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

I did read your poem. I feel that you could improve the structure of your poem. I will read several more times to see if I clearly understand it better.

Ps: as a new Neopoet you should try submitting a poem open to new members. Winners receive $10 prize as well as having the poem in one of the anthologies.

New poets with 2 months or less are eligible to submit a poem. Hope to see some poems in the near future!