Candlewitch

Oct 20, 2024 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Reckoning of a Cat

someone has got it in for me...
she imagines I've done her wrong
stepping on her yellow tawny tail
makes her erupt in feline song.

She judges me most unfairly
her cat scratch deeply in my back.
She is looking to shoot me down
my name comes up, she paints it black.

People are starting to notice
her fixated, glazed over stare.
focused on her point of loathing,
stripping it down to the bone, bare.

If it doesn't stop I'll use my all,
apply usage of my good name
to shake her loose from destruction,
this cruel and personal game.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: written on more styx notepad on: 10-20-2024

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Carlos Castaneda, Jim Morrison, the whole of Neopoet and many more.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

neopoet

8 months 3 weeks ago

Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Reckoning of a Cat" is a narrative piece that uses the metaphor of a cat to explore themes of conflict, misunderstanding, and defense. The use of feline imagery and language effectively creates a vivid and engaging story. However, there are a few areas where the poem could be improved.

Firstly, the rhythm of the poem could be more consistent. The first stanza has a rhythm that is disrupted in the second stanza. Consistent rhythm can help to create a more engaging and memorable reading experience.

Secondly, the poem could benefit from more varied language. For example, the phrase "she paints it black" is a common phrase that could be replaced with a more original or unexpected metaphor.

Lastly, the poem could explore its themes in greater depth. The conflict between the speaker and the cat is clear, but the reasons for this conflict and the emotions it evokes could be further developed. This could help to create a more emotionally engaging and thought-provoking poem.

Overall, "Reckoning of a Cat" is a strong piece with a clear narrative and engaging imagery. With some adjustments to rhythm, language, and thematic development, it has the potential to be even more effective.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Geezer

8 months 3 weeks ago

Hey Cat...

Just a couple of little bobbles here.

she imagines [I've] done her wrong.

[made] her [erupt] in feline song.

comma between fixated and glazed.

I can imagine that she feels that way, but a couple of extra treats and a few pets in her favorite spot should fix that. I wouldn't be surprised if she put her tail in the way every so often, just to keep you in line. LoL

~ Geez.
.

Candlewitch

8 months 3 weeks ago

Dear Geez,

LOL, maybe a small bowl of cream (with a tranquilizer) would help, too. Thank you for spotting the areas in need. I feel like a piece is not quite finished until you have read it. let me know if I missed anything. xxx, Cat

Leslie

8 months 3 weeks ago

Cat...

I took this in a different way. I imagined it as some woman you know who was abusive. None the less a beautiful poem!

Candlewitch

8 months 3 weeks ago

Dear Leslie,

You are right, but she will find out this kitty's got claws! thank you, my friend Cat

Geezer

8 months 3 weeks ago

I guess my attempt...

at sarcasm, fell a little flat. Anyway, you are right. ~ Geez.
.

Candlewitch

8 months 3 weeks ago

Dear Geez,

Flat or not, you remain my favorite "Go To Guy" I appreciate you.

many hugs, Cat

Lavender

8 months 3 weeks ago