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Oct 23, 2017
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Red Wagon (OCTOBER CONTEST)
Rolling along
In my little red wagon
Leaves crunching beneath the wheels
The smell of autumn
Wraps around me
In all its splendor
A cool wind blows
Beneath my hood
As I watch the decorations appear
Pumpkins, witches and ghouls
Floating from neighbor's porches
Anticipating candied delight
Childhood memories
Such a long time ago
Brings a tear to my eye
What I wouldn't give
To be that kid
Rolling along in my little red wagon again
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Geezer
7 years 8 months ago
The memories...
evoked from this poem make this special to anyone who ever had a little-red-wagon. Leaves crunching beneath the wheels, the smell of Autumn, cool winds and Halloween decorations!
All these things are what makes Halloween one of my favorite holidays. My one crit of your whole poem is the line that kind of falls a little flat. "Soon it will be their time to shine." Maybe you might use a line that says: "Beckoning Trick or Treaters or Beacons of candy isles", something similar. very good imagery! ~ Gee.
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lonlyhrtsclub13
7 years 8 months ago
That line
Stuck out to me as well. I will go back and play with it to make it run smoother. I am glad you liked it. It was a simple poem but says a lot.