05/25 Having a Baby 🏆 Winner

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Remembering

My body remembers
a fluttering and
joy at what that meant.
My body remembers
being heavy with child
and being sick all day.
My body remembers
birthing my child
and swaying as she cried.
My body remembers
watching her grow
and holding her close.
My body remembers
watching her become a woman
and letting her go, but not for good.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Kentucky, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allen Poe, Maya Angelou, Emily Dickenson

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Comments

neopoet

1 month 2 weeks ago

Neopoet AI (Premium) - version 3.0

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Consider exploring more specific imagery or sensory details to deepen the emotional resonance of each memory. Currently, the repetition of "My body remembers" provides structure, but the poem might benefit from varying this refrain slightly or introducing more nuanced descriptions to maintain reader engagement. Additionally, the transition from physical sensations ("fluttering," "heavy," "birthing") to more abstract experiences ("watching her grow," "letting her go") could be more clearly bridged, perhaps by incorporating subtle physical sensations or bodily metaphors even in these later stages. This would enhance thematic coherence and maintain the poem's central motif of bodily memory throughout.

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