Remembering My First Computer

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem effectively captures a relatable moment from early internet culture, clearly evoking nostalgia through the repetition of "Waiting..." and the reference to dial-up connections and Napster. However, there are areas that could benefit from further development:

1. The repetition of "Waiting..." at the beginning and middle is effective in creating rhythm and emphasizing the slow pace of dial-up internet. Consider varying the repetition slightly or adding descriptive details to enhance the reader's experience of anticipation and frustration.

2. The narrative is clear and straightforward, but the emotional stakes could be deepened. Consider exploring more about the speaker's emotional investment in the playlist or the significance of the songs being downloaded. This could help elevate the poem from a simple anecdote to a more layered reflection.

3. The final moment ("Mom called again!") is humorous and relatable, but it feels somewhat abrupt. Consider expanding or refining the ending to give the reader a stronger sense of closure or reflection on the experience.

4. The language used is simple and accessible, which suits the nostalgic tone. However, adding more sensory or specific details (such as sounds, visuals, or physical sensations) could further immerse the reader in the experience.

Overall, the poem clearly communicates a relatable experience, but would benefit from additional depth, sensory detail, and a more thoughtful conclusion.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

the frustration of the protagonist, victory at last! Oooh no! Mom...
Yes, I'm alright, I just need a little space, I've got some things to do, of course not mom, nothing is more important than you. Yes, I've eaten today... Nicely done, ~ Geez.
.

Was that the point? Hehehehehe

Just another one of those things you can chalk-up to Mom...LOL!

this gave me a chuckle, thanks and good luck! always, Cat

I kid you not, I wanted to find my pre server crash poetry from neopoet. I had it saved, this was back in 2011 when the site was recreated.

I bought a charger for my Eee netbook, this screen is partly damaged. It was a quest to find it! All the programs that no longer have internet connectivity or support, random notes i left that I lack context for, or even the intent of the netbook, it was gifted by a former lover in hopes i could safely travel around japan, since phones weren't so great at the time.

I really feel this and the quirky delight and annoyances feel a bit like Billy Collins or Brian Bilston, which please understand is a big compliment, I love them both.

We experience the world through our brains, which store information, revisiting wells of information again, once we lose touch with the format gets wild!