Lavender

Dec 02, 2024 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Repentance

I recall thinking that my juvenile sins
were not so grand as the church
made them out to be.

My calloused knees and the strings of
Hail Marys were much more imposing.

And somewhere in the abyss of my religion,
I found that "believing" was the greatest punishment of all.

Hell hath no fury like a church scorned.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: United States

Favorite Poets: I tend to read Ted Kooser, Jim Harrison, Billy Collins, Paul Simon, Robert Frost. I like minimalist poetry, and poems reflecting on nature and Mother Earth.

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Comments

Ray Miller

7 months 1 week ago

Repentance

I remember those feelings, I think. Nice break at the end of line 2. The thread of abyss/punishment/Hell in the last few lines is well put.

Lavender

7 months ago

Hello, Ray,

Thank you so much for reading!
L

Leslie

7 months ago

Repentance

Nothing that we do is ever all that wrong. We like to unburden ourselves, when the day is done. I really liked the poem.

Lavender

7 months ago

Hello, John,

There was tremendous guilt and repentance back in the day. I hope things have changed.
Thank you for reading!
L

Geezer

7 months ago

is the worst punishment of all. I think no truer words were ever spoken. The burden of believing is that much worse, because you can choose to believe or not. Short, succinct, and to the point ~ Geez.
.

Lavender

7 months ago

Hello, Geezer,

Yes! I sat down to write a sweet little ditty about the warmth of the season, and this beast showed its face. Just never know what's going to stomp its way into a poem.
Thank you, as always, for reading!
L

Juarez5656

6 months 4 weeks ago

This is more like a statement

This is more like a statement of philosophy than a poem, I see you hate church but i don’t see anything poetic about it

Lavender

6 months 3 weeks ago

Hello, Jaurez,

Thank you for visiting.
L

Ruby Lord

6 months 4 weeks ago

And somewhere in the abyss of my religion -

Hi Lavender,

Poetry is all about personal expression through universal themes, and your poem captures both so skilfully. It really speaks to me and reflects my own experiences. For me, that’s exactly what poetry is meant to do, and your poem is a perfect reflection of this. Your word choice and how you bring the whole piece together, is marvellous. Ruby xxx :)

Lavender

6 months 3 weeks ago

Hello, Ruby,

I believe that is the point in sharing our poetry - to connect with a universal thought or experience. Much of the poetry I read and am drawn to holds those moments that I don't necessarily understand as much as I feel.
I appreciate your reading, and your comment!
Lx

mark

6 months 3 weeks ago

Hello L

This seemed like a part of a conversation.
Like people were in a discusion and this was your input.
I tend to agree with our new cartel member if that is what the name implies.
I think Juarez5656 has a good point.
Mark

Lavender

6 months 3 weeks ago

Hello, Mark,

I'll probably let this one sit a spell and come back to it. Certainly will consider the different views with this.
Thank you for reading and commenting!
L
Merry Christmas!

Lavender

6 months 3 weeks ago

A conversation...

I'll be studying the poetic value of the poem, as was suggested. But my goal was most definitely to feel as if in conversation, input through poetry. I've known many here more than four years and though we may not be in the same room together, I've felt that we have discussed shared, and not-so-shared, life experiences pretty often, almost daily, while foremost helping one another become better poets. In fact, that's the sense I get when reading most poetry here. I would not share this poem with an audience I did not know so well, or feel so eager and open to converse with.
Thanks and ever thanks,
L