Requisite recertification (for us) to remain...

as residents at Highland Manor Apartment
for the remainder of two thousand and six
and part way thru two thousand seven.

Linkedin with benefiting from low rent
courtesy Housing and Urban Development
every tenant who signs the lease
to occupy an efficiency,
or one or two bedroom apartment
and benefit from adjusted monthly
at Highland Manor Apartments
needs to comply
filling out sheaf of documentation
appended with signature(s)
incumbent upon he/she,
him/her, his/hers, et cetera
after first year anniversary of occupancy
will be subject
to disclose pertinent information
affecting fiscal, mental,
physical, et cetera criteria
whereby privileged renter
initially plunked down money
in-sync with security deposit
to benefit from reduced
monthly rent will be in accordance
with compilation of assets and resources
initially qualifying applicant
to pay the landlord calculated dollar figure
predicated and tabulated
courtesy fiscal supplements
videlicet inheritance, lottery,
stocks and/or bond portfolios, et cetera.

Ah, methinks if only
the community chest and chance
yours truly and the missus
could acquire a roomier and ritzier
place to live along the Boardwalk
or at Park Place
or a Swiss chalet in France,
where we would occupy a manse
hiring domestic employees,
perhaps one named Nance
and a thoroughbred mare
that would excitedly prance
but such a pipe dream
finds me shaking
cobwebbed noggin out of a trance
reckoning with the reality
of Trump and Vance
doling out socially progressive legislation
likely as yours truly winning
the Mega Million or Powerball.

Lemme jump the figurative gun
and anticipate thee asking me why
July first marks out eighth anniversary
as occupants of unit B forty four
where tempus fugit
regarding time and tide
marches on, we might vie
for first place regarding which resident(s)
garner the honor to be touted
by Guinness Book of world record holders
to reside at 2 Highland Manor Drive and try
tolerate each other
(meaning yours truly cohabiting)
the same space
and maybe pretending
I do not know the spouse,
but just met her as if ourselves
living in very close proximity
analogous to a faux blind date,
where I already bought her a bling
which offers the accessory
feature for us to spy
on each other
and leaving secret messages
with the other to do likewise
assessing whether we share
at least one (from a long list
of admirable traits
sought in a mate) and qualify
if in the affirmative then
to frolic in the autumn mist
with Puff the magic dragon
in a land called Honalee
whereat she could be
mine Olive Oyl to her Popeye
no matter divulging
said indirect marital proposition
would cause a hue and outcry
from future parental in laws well nigh
id est William and Sylvia Zison
would be livid with rage at me
being an unemployed
non practicing very reformed Jew
a pork kvetching socialist bum living in a pigsty
buzz-feeding on slop from a trough
jump/kick starting
at golden opportunity
to make a daring escape
secreting and safely securing myself
within a hogshead
that magically appeared
courtesy the gentle giant
who flicked me with his finger
while angels of mercy
not only sent the sandman
one of several deities
associated with sleep,
most notably Pasithea
in Greek mythology,
who represents the goddess
of rest, relaxation, and meditation,
often working alongside her husband, Hypnos,
and other figures included
the Hindu goddess Nidra Devi,
who controls sleep,
and the Celtic goddess Caer Ibormeith,
associated with dreams and prophecy
before sending me doused
with profound drowsiness
barreling, careening, and darting
over the edge of the precipice
"rollin', rollin', rollin' on the river"
within the raging current
letting the fickle finger of fate
to manage to steer the rickety craft
as my own private boatswain
precariously and perilously
tumultuously tossed and pitched to and fro
hither and yon across the cyber sea
analogous to being caught in a rip current
going nowhere fast oar-less
but lucky for me to be ensconced
within hermetically sealed
tight as a drum blessed cask
before being obliviously
swept out to watery wide world
envisioning while slumbering away
my own Unitarian salvation
blinded by the heart of darkness,
nevertheless no matter oblivious
to the danger less harrowing than crossing
"Bridge over the River Kwai,"
before opening my eyes and realizing
denouement of frightful brush with death
twas nothing but a dream.