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Oct 13, 2013
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Respite
A new found silence
Has crept into my heart,
A need for distance that validates
Just being -
Apart.
A recoil from the intimacy,
That once stunned my soul
Shocked me into servitude
That said: "be patient"
Let go of control.
Now silence has restored
equanimity, once lost.
As yet, I'm too afraid to
go back, and count up
The cost.
NS. 10 OCT. 13
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Ian.T
11 years 9 months ago
NS
Loved this short write of finding something that was not lost.
You were probably looking in the wrong place, no need to go back everything you need is there in front of you, just feel it..
Yours Ian.T
weirdelf
11 years 9 months ago
You have said in 60 words
what many poets have tried to express in volumes.
Forgive me if I mis-nterpret but I feel you are saying that betrayal in intimacy has taught you the value of solitude, with it's inherent fear.
technical crit:
That said"be patient" [missed the comma between said and "be patient"
One of my favourite aphorisms of poetry is that it is "elimination of the inessential"
non sequitur
11 years 9 months ago
Gentlemen!
Thank you once again for your comments and critique. Weirdelf, most appreciative and impressed that you would find this adequate. Poetically paltry, but works well as a catharsis. Once there has been a merger, there always needs to be backing away, to take stock. It is that counting up, that scares me!
Ian, once again, thanks!
NS
mand
11 years 9 months ago
Love can be painful - taking
Love can be painful - taking stock will hopefully come with time. You are an eloquent and vivid writer, I love the language, passion and emotion you use - all said in honestly from the heart.
Love Mand xxxx
non sequitur
11 years 8 months ago
Mand!
Thank you so much for your heartfelt compliment. The passions I can attest to. The emotions I am overwhelmed with, The language is a bonus!
Regards
NS
loved
11 years 8 months ago
you are as simple as my ego is astound
you say curtly what others go about round and round …I don't know what sheared the sheen… the shaft unclean…. and if I were you…. I'd have had the one guillotined …but then language is not what I command …tis love only I demand … for you to have a fair share …in this round world...but a bit too square I've found
Wonder if I make sense at all… in other words I'd say to him ...’’’GO TO HELL!
You are as simple as my ego is astound!!!
non sequitur
11 years 8 months ago
Loved!
Love it!
THanks
NS