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Reunion
The night spreads its wings of darkness
across the heavens- above
as the moon's graceful light returns,
greeting the mistress earth,
joined by the clustered stars,
the twinkling diamonds of paradise,
listening to the song of the crickets
which breaks the silence
in the air.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: These words just come to me and I write them down. All are welcome to offer critics and suggestions especially on the title.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Rula
10 years 5 months ago
A nice scene Khalid
A nice scene indeed. I could see and hear.
If I might suggest, in the line
"across the heavens above"........ may be adding a hyphen or just a comma
across the heavens-above
or simply say
across the above heavens.
I also think you need to add "the cricket" as you are talking about a general species.
As for the title I like this one as is, but I would like to share an oldie of mine on the same topic... I called it "Divinity Nuptials"
I don't mind borrowing my title. :)
Thanks for sharing.
alidzain
10 years 5 months ago
Salam, Rula
thank you for the visit, comment and suggestions. I've done the edit.
Alid
Rula
10 years 5 months ago
You're the most welcome Khalid
.