judyanne

Jan 13, 2015 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

revenge

he's really my true love - I saw him first
I took one look and weakened at the knees
I thought, to start, my heart would nearly burst
but, damn it, now he's Kimberley's new squeeze

O fickle heart of finger, that of fate
he smiled and stared, so sensual, at my lip
when Kimberley called out to him to wait
pretending she was swooning - 'bout to slip

she timed it so he'd catch her when she fell
O how so cleverly she set the bait
their eyes engaged - not much more left to tell
except she once was, one time, my good mate

I'm buying glossies, reading trends and fashions
I'm learning, now, to be a fatal femme
to stun him with my new sophistications
and steal him off of her, then promptly dump him

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Western Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Favourite poets? So many, so varied. I like particular songs, not necessarily the singer... and the same goes for poetry. I can honestly say though, that Alfred Noyes' The Highwayman was what inspired my love of poetry - my mother began reading it to me when I was still a baby, and it became my favourite bedtime story

Comments

weirdelf

10 years 6 months ago

Love it!

And simply couldn't resist a reading.

https://soundcloud.com/user536630132/revenge-submitted-by-judyanne
I learning, now, to be a fatal femme [I'm]

Your return has inspired me, Judyanne, to critique and writing. There is so much work (in the Balinese meaning of the word, both labour and play) to be done here at Neopoet! Thank you.

judyanne

10 years 6 months ago

thanks jess

I am very honoured you thought this worthy of a reading
I'm also very glad that you feel inspired... although how i factor into that has me stumped ....

- typo fixed - thanks
Your visit greatly appreciated
Love judy
xxx

weirdelf

10 years 6 months ago

your return has inspired me

because I think we were going through similar things with our muses

alidzain

10 years 6 months ago

Same here, Judy

Love the way you spin it.

Alid

judyanne

10 years 6 months ago

thank you alid

So very glad you liked this

I hope your feeling better.... a foreign body sitting under your skin must be most uncomfortable
I guess eventually you'll adjust to it
at least it's keeping a watch on that ticker of yours and that's a good thing

Love judy
xxx

Barbara Writes

10 years 6 months ago

Lovely

Enjoyed reading

judyanne

10 years 6 months ago

thank you barbara

For the read and very kind comment
Love judy
xxx

Tylana

10 years 6 months ago

Beautiful

That touched my heart and made me realize love really is a nasty thing.

Rula

10 years 6 months ago

feminine issues

Well expressed dear judy.
S3, L4 once was, one time ... reads like a repetition of the same words.
I really love the true emotions in this though I don't agree with you in the revenge thing.
He is a loser, so why would I think much of him?
At least my view.

judyanne

10 years 6 months ago

repetition

Except she once was, one time, my best friend
repetition - a poetic devise, to emphasise the fact that is no longer the case

- it's only a poem rula - just a bit of fun, since we're in the middle of a humour workshop... not into revenge myself - especially over a man lol

Love judy
xxx

mand

10 years 6 months ago

Hi Judyanne

Great poem! Ahh the foibles of love. Te he I'd go with Rula on this one. Kimberley might deserve a bit of a slappin though! Lol only joking

Rhyming was great - of course! te he

Love Mand xxxx

judyanne

10 years 6 months ago

kimberley

is too slippery to catch in order to slap mand
Don't think i didn't try lol

Thanks for the read and support

love judy
xxx

raj

10 years 6 months ago

Hi Judyanne

This write shows two sides of the same coin :)

Regards,

judyanne

10 years 6 months ago

??

sorry raj
I don't quite understand what you mean here
Thank you for the visit
Love judy
xxx

raj

10 years 6 months ago

Judyanne

What i meant was two sides of a woman's personality...starkly different...you know now what i mean?....:)

Regards,

emogothgirl

10 years 6 months ago

oh boy

simply put, this is great. my favorite part is the bit about dumping him :)

mag

judyanne

10 years 6 months ago

lol

Thanks mag
I'm glad you liked this
I imagine that dumping him is the more clever thing to do - he wouldn't know how to be faithful
:)
love judy
xxx

Roscoe Lane

10 years 6 months ago

Liked this a lot,

Liked this a lot, does this really happen to women as well. I thought this was a mans thing. LOL.. Love Roscoe..

judyanne

10 years 6 months ago

thanks roscoe

Lol - man / woman - we're only three letters different

Love judy
xxx

scribbler

10 years 6 months ago

Hey Judy

except she was once upon a time a good mate? just an idea. They say if captured by an enemy one should pray they not turn you over to their women lol. I enjoyed reading this and am now just a tiny bit afraid............stan

judyanne

10 years 6 months ago

MM shudders stan

at your suggestion
- but i thank you
:)

Lol - yes be afraid, be very afraid
Love judy
xxx