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Shelby Pryor
Shelby Pryor
Feb 13, 2023 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoem Of The Week February 12th to February 18th 2023 🏆 Winner

(Read More...)

Rewrite the Stars

The future of our world
Lies entirely in our hand
We will create the future
We decide what will stand

Our hearts may be bleeding
But we still have a responsibility
To make the world a better place
For ourselves and others to be

We might not have chosen this
But we are on the battle lines
We have the power to change it
We can rearrange the signs

They will say it is impossible
They say we won't get far
Yet we determine what to do
Together, we can Rewrite the Stars

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Country/Region: United States

More from this author

Comments

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

2 years 4 months ago

hello Shelby,

that last line is beautiful! congrats on winning the poem of the week. you deserved it!

*hugs, Cat

Shelby Pryor

Shelby Pryor

2 years 4 months ago

Candlewitch

Thank you so so much! And I hadn't heard I won the contest, but thank you! I really appreciate the support!

Shelby Pryor

Shelby Pryor

2 years 4 months ago

Candlewitch

I just looked, and my feed said you won the contest! I loved your poem btw! Great work!

Rosewood Apothecary

Rosewood Apothecary

2 years 4 months ago

Maybe some changes

The future of our world
Lies entirely in our hand
We will create the future
By deciding what will stand

Our hearts may be bleeding
But we hold responsibility
To make the world a better place
For others and ourselves to be

We might not have chosen this
we are on the battle lines
We have the power to change it
We can rearrange the signs

They will say it’s impossible
They say we won't get far
Yet we determine what to do
Together, we’ll Rewrite the Stars

Light suggestions. Your choice. I apologize in advance for messing with your art. I do think that makes it flow like a torrent. Well done regardless.

Tim

RoseBlack

RoseBlack

2 years 4 months ago

A powerful mantra

I really enjoy your encouragement and positive affirmations in your writing. Well done!