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Aug 14, 2013
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The Rising
Thoughts.
Infinite whispers, in the timelessness
The soul stilled in the silence
The sands pour no more.
Past and future have faded,
Only the serenity of The Void.
...
My heart pounds, undulating the dark
The firmament stills,
for a moment.
Breath held for an eternity
breaks the slumber
The Earth shivering at the ancient expiration
Wraiths wail at the swelling tempest
Whispers of the awakening thunder the air
It too has risen.
Formless, nameless. Writhing in the false darkness
Staring back though it's guises
2013/08/14
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Ian.T
12 years 2 months ago
Dark One
I don't believe that you dwell in the dark,
that you can see so much means that it is light.
Though there \are some that can see without light but that is another story.
I liked the write it was a fascinating subject,
Take care yours Ian.T
TheDarkOne
12 years 1 month ago
The dark is calm
Having been in the light, it was filled with too much. The dark is calm, can't stay there forever though.
Ian.T
12 years 1 month ago
Oh Dark One
I retreat to my cave sometimes, it is not very deep so that I can see the entrance where it frames the light, if I withdraw further the light dims.
There in the darkness you can think without the busyness of light.
Yes it is good for you but to dwell in the dark too long many strange things happen, at the start your eyes become bigger then disappear.
The pigment of your skin will go also, then I suppose as all humons long for company, the madness will arrive and take you to a living hell.
Then you die Ha Ha, or are taken to the funny farm by the men in white.
Have a great day out there, yours with good thoughts, Ian.T