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Jackweb
Jackweb
Dec 08, 2022 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

THE RISK OF LOVE

Your love connotes
endless entanglement
I'm finding way to exit
your feeling is a hot fire
I can't quench your craving

©® Onyinyechi Cosmos Etu

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Imo State - Republic of Biafra(Nigeria), NGA

Favorite Poets: Late Christopher Okigbo, Wole soyinka, Maya Angelou, W.H. Longfellow, John Milton, W.B. Yeat.

More from this author

Comments

Geezer

Geezer

2 years 7 months ago

Sounds like a stalker...

someone who can't stand their lover being out of their sight. A person that has need of constant reassurance. I like the hot, hurried feel to this, as if a too hot flame and feeling of suffocation. Good write! ~ Geez.
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Jackweb

Jackweb

2 years 7 months ago

Exactly!!!

You really got it right! Humble thanks for reading through and commenting.
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Rula

Rula

2 years 7 months ago

This

Make me smile for some reason.
I'm a fan of crispy words. :)

Jackweb

Jackweb

2 years 7 months ago

Yes

Sometimes one need to delve into different style of creative writing. Much appreciated for stopping here.
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Jackweb

Jackweb

2 years 7 months ago

Wow!

Thanks a bunch for reading and commenting.
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E

Emerald1

2 years 7 months ago

The piece almost reads as

The piece almost reads as someone in a panic to escape from under a suffocating blanket of love . a clever powerful brevity like it , the meaning is clear and the word choices evoke the picture of panic ,

Jackweb

Jackweb

2 years 7 months ago

Yes!

You're very right ! Thanks for your evaluation.
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