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Dec 08, 2022
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THE RISK OF LOVE
Your love connotes
endless entanglement
I'm finding way to exit
your feeling is a hot fire
I can't quench your craving
©® Onyinyechi Cosmos Etu
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Candlewitch
2 years 7 months ago
hello Onyinyechi,
sounds to hot to handle! best to let it go, lol.
all my best, Cat
Jackweb
2 years 7 months ago
That's just it!!!
Beautiful answer! Thanks Cat for stopping by.
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Geezer
2 years 7 months ago
Sounds like a stalker...
someone who can't stand their lover being out of their sight. A person that has need of constant reassurance. I like the hot, hurried feel to this, as if a too hot flame and feeling of suffocation. Good write! ~ Geez.
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Jackweb
2 years 7 months ago
Exactly!!!
You really got it right! Humble thanks for reading through and commenting.
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Jackweb
2 years 7 months ago
Any way is a way
LoL! Much appreciated for reading and commenting.
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Rula
2 years 7 months ago
This
Make me smile for some reason.
I'm a fan of crispy words. :)
Jackweb
2 years 7 months ago
Yes
Sometimes one need to delve into different style of creative writing. Much appreciated for stopping here.
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Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 7 months ago
Great writing connotes
An infatuation turned stifling.
Amazing
Tim
Jackweb
2 years 7 months ago
Wow!
Thanks a bunch for reading and commenting.
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Emerald1
2 years 7 months ago
The piece almost reads as
The piece almost reads as someone in a panic to escape from under a suffocating blanket of love . a clever powerful brevity like it , the meaning is clear and the word choices evoke the picture of panic ,
Jackweb
2 years 7 months ago
Yes!
You're very right ! Thanks for your evaluation.
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