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Feb 18, 2015
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Rivulets conjunction
Rivulets conjunction
Your eyes will pierce my heart
then how will we see
so I will read your poetry
how lovely tis
your eyes are bliss
I am a cynosure of many eyes
but mine are not like this...
you lady are
a BLISS
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
raj
10 years 4 months ago
Lovedly
I think if you do away with stanzas 2 and 3, it will lift this poem.
Regards,
lovedly
10 years 4 months ago
thanks dear raj
your advice is wonderful here