Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Aug 26, 2025
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
Road Walk
Waking up on the south side of recovery,
Engrossed by feelings wrapped around my flesh,
The thoughts of becoming sinking deep,
Like sand clustered around a stormy grave.
I have taken my soles upwards,
Towards the path that sees my calling,
And I hear nothing but my wishes whispering,
The road is long but I tarry.
I have unboxed my collection of premium colours,
And now I see in visions that formed me,
I believe the road will take me to where I belong,
Even as I'm yet to be,
Still chased by flames of suffering burning bright,
The road walks with me,
And I'm still at peace,
Because the world is calm,
And there's no fire on my mountain
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Peace.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
1 month ago
Neopoet AI [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem explores themes of recovery, self-discovery, and perseverance with a contemplative tone. The imagery of "the south side of recovery" and "sand clustered around a stormy grave" effectively conveys a sense of struggle and emotional weight. The metaphor of the road as both a physical and spiritual journey is consistent and provides a strong structural backbone.
Consider refining some lines for clarity and rhythm. For example, "The thoughts of becoming sinking deep" could be rephrased to improve grammatical flow—perhaps "Thoughts of becoming sink deep" or "Thoughts of becoming sink in deep." The phrase "I have taken my soles upwards" is intriguing but may confuse readers; "soles" suggests feet, but "upwards" might imply direction that could be more precise. Clarifying this image could strengthen the connection between physical movement and spiritual progress.
The stanza about "unboxed my collection of premium colours" introduces a vivid metaphor for creativity or self-expression, but the line "And now I see in visions that formed me" feels slightly abstract. Expanding or grounding this image could enhance its impact.
The closing lines bring a peaceful resolution, contrasting earlier suffering with calmness and absence of fire on the mountain. This provides a hopeful conclusion, though the phrase "the road walks with me" personifies the journey in a way that might benefit from further development to deepen its resonance.
Overall, the poem has a solid thematic core and evocative imagery but could benefit from tighter language and clearer metaphors to fully engage the reader.
Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact