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Jul 12, 2024
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Roads To Ride
I wander, and roads wander in my thoughts.
Do they take me, or am I taken by roads?
Those that are narrow and suspiciously wild,
Running in forests, playing seek and hide.
Each with a story of ones treading them,
Some reach their destiny, others yet to come.
Some seem wider with more promising ends,
With greener sides that endlessly extend.
They swallow our pains as we travel along
And give a strong feeling that we belong.
Though silent they are, they speak to you
If treading them with a more hopeful view.
Different paths and different journeys we opt,
We walk together or diverge when paths are blocked.
Some are dark and rather cold when walked alone,
Or they are well-trodden comfort zones.
So every time I need to take a stride,
I'll be sure to have a well-chosen ride.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
11 months 2 weeks ago
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Roads To Ride" presents an interesting exploration of the metaphor of roads as life's journeys. The use of personification in lines such as "roads wander in my thoughts" and "they swallow our pains" adds depth to the metaphor and creates an engaging narrative.
However, the poem could benefit from more consistent use of imagery. For example, the lines "Some seem wider with more promising ends, / With greener sides that endlessly extend" provide a vivid picture, but other stanzas lack this level of detail. Incorporating more imagery throughout the poem could enhance the reader's engagement and understanding of the metaphor.
The rhythm and meter of the poem are generally consistent, which contributes to a smooth reading experience. However, there are a few lines that disrupt this flow, such as "Different paths are different journeys we opt". Revising these lines to better fit the established rhythm could improve the overall flow of the poem.
The theme of choice and decision-making is effectively conveyed through the repeated reference to choosing a road. However, the poem could delve deeper into the consequences of these choices to add more emotional weight and complexity to the theme.
Lastly, the poem's ending could be strengthened. The current ending, "I'll sure to have a well-chosen ride", feels somewhat abrupt and does not fully encapsulate the themes explored in the poem. A more impactful ending could provide a stronger conclusion and leave a lasting impression on the reader.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Lavender
11 months 2 weeks ago
Roads To Ride
Hello, Rula,
I think most of us have experienced these roads you describe. "...diverge when paths are blocked." This is how we make it through life. Adapt and keep moving along the road. Like this so much!
Thank you!
Lx
Rula
11 months 2 weeks ago
Thank you
dearest Lavender.. hope your roads to be full of roses.
Have a very nice day/night
Always appreciate your comments.