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Robin Hood In the Wood (Humor In Poetry WS)
When the clock struck twelve,
Alice wondered if she should run,
she thought about the forty thieves
and how the night was full of fun.
But the Snow White shivered,
and she slipped over the frost,
none of the three bears however,
could find the slipper she lost.
She couldn't find the magic lamp,
and when the witch awoke,
the little pigs slept well,
and her magic spells broke.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Hope this works.
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
judyanne
10 years 5 months ago
well done rula
I so love the double meaning in the lines 'the snow white shivered/ and she slipped over the frost'....
And the title -lol- robin hood not mentioned at all in the poem....
This made me smile - clever
Love judy
xxx
Rula
10 years 5 months ago
wow
I am happy it works well! I am also pleased I could come on the right time. I hate to be a lazy pumpkin :)
Thank you dear.
Ian.T
10 years 5 months ago
Rula one of the best
A great write and it flowed well, the number of stories in there, well it was packed with them, now I am going to have a re-think lol.
Yours as always Ian.
PS:- I hope that your parents are doing fine, I sent your books a week ago, when you were away, maybe it's at the post office??
Rula
10 years 5 months ago
thank you Ian
So kind of you . Everything is fine and yes I think the books should be at the post office by now which is a bit far from where I live. I will sure let you know when I get them. Many thanks to you.
alidzain
10 years 5 months ago
Salam, Rula
nice one, sister. Sad that I'm not well enough to join in the workshop.
Alid
Rula
10 years 5 months ago
Salam Khalid
I am also sorry you couldn't join. I hope you'd recover and come back to us soon.
Thanks for dropping despite your pains.
scribbler
10 years 5 months ago
Hi Rula
I thought I was doing well to get Three fairy tale in mine then I see yours lol. It was a fun read but since this is a workshop I guess i should be totally honest and say it lacks a punch line (or maybe I'm just too dense to see it). .........stan
Rula
10 years 5 months ago
hello Stan
A punch line?
I didn't think it needed that as I wanted it to be as light as possible but I shall keep that in mind.
judyanne
10 years 5 months ago
lol stan
Interesting the different approaches to humor
I find this really quite funny . It is a hoshposh of nothing but characters, with robin hood (who the poem is supposed to be about, according to the title) nowhere in sight.... and I'm left at the end saying wtf was that... the fact it has no punch line actually adds to the confusion, and i can't help laughing at the 'stupidity' of it...
Not knocking you at all... just commenting on how different people find different things funny...
love judy
xxx
mand
10 years 5 months ago
HI there Rula
You've done a great job - Nice to see the forty thieves in there. Te he :) Your poem was well written and great fun! :)
High five
Love Mand xxxxxx
Rula
10 years 5 months ago
hello Mand
So nice of you to say so.
Highly appreciated.
lonlyhrtsclub13
10 years 5 months ago
Rula
A great write!!! Excellent flow and coordination of the fairy tales. The characters fit well together and the imagery was great. Great job!
Rula
10 years 5 months ago
Carrie
Many thanks dear!!
Barbara Writes
10 years 5 months ago
A nice fairytale
Well written
Rula
10 years 5 months ago
Barbara
Thanks for the visit.
wesley snow
10 years 5 months ago
I'm sorry I'm late.
This is a kick. Do you think you could get one more fairy tale into the poem? I think not. Yours was much harder to write than mine.
Rula
10 years 5 months ago
better late than never sir!
Do you want the add to lengthen the piece or for another purpose?
Thanks for the precious visit.
wesley snow
10 years 5 months ago
Not at all.
I was impressed at how many you could stuff into a short poem.